More dining delights

I worked 36 hours straight. Got up Thursday a.m., worked all day, all night and all day Friday. Came home. Exhausted. Dinner: Leftover Pizza from at least 2 months ago, frozen, re-heated until burnt and crispy, along with 2 hot dog buns, which had been buttered and sprinkled with garlic salt. Also burnt, black.
Just shoot me now.

Not to worry my dearest fabulous fiance/daughter-in-law

I read your blog. I have answers to your questions. No, the grandma will not be upset if you do not let her wash your clothes. She will be relieved she doesn't have to do it. She will happily relinquish some of her kitchen duties, and shopping duties. She will love getting out and doing something fun, like a hobby or class. She is pretty housebound with only me here, since my job eats me alive.
Now, repeat after me,
Everything is going to be all right.
Everything IS going to be all right.
Everything is GOING to be all right.
Everything is going to be ALL RIGHT!!
Really, it is.
I can hardly wait for you to get here. We have more girly fun together!!!
LOVE YOU!!!

Continuing Menu Items

Thank God I go out to lunch. I had a GREAT lunch with Jodi and Pam and Jim today. Because when I got home, this is what greeted me:

Knackwurst (I don't even know how to spell it, why would I eat it?) Some form of mystery meat, which, unfortunately got a little close to the fire, and was burnt on both sides. No amount of mustard made it edible.
Water-logged, overdone Brocolli, cheese sprinkles and vanilla pudding, made with sugar-free mix and skim milk.
OK, why does anyone even BUY vanilla pudding? If it isn't chocolate, why even bother? Then, mix it with skim milk, which I strongly suspect was outdated, as I KNOW for a fact I have not picked up a quart for at least 2 weeks.
I can't stand this any more.
And then, when I asked what the mystery meat was (NO, I didn't put it that way, I was polite), she burst into tears.
I am going to jump off a bridge. I can't stand this much longer.
Someone HELP!!!
Where are my car keys??? I'm going to McDonalds.

Tonight's Menu

Salad. Very sad romaine lettuce.
Pork chop, hockey puck style. How can anyone consistently turn pork chops into hockey pucks?
Asparagus, approx. 1/3 in. chunks, muushy.
Someone kill me.
Oh, wait, that's what's happening now....

What sportscar are you?

http://tomorrowland.us/sportscar/

Porche 911. Wow, who'd have thought????

Tonight's Menu

Cherry tomatoes, 6, with 1 tsp. blue cheese dressing, for dipping.
1 petrified pork chop
Chopped asparagus, boiled beyond recognition.

That's all.

Yes, that's all.

I'm going to Culver's.

Ha HA HA

Try this one--if George gets stuck, you can move him with the cursor.

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

One of the Squirrels is Missing

I had a set of two cute little plastic squirrels (supposedly they look "realistic") who sit in the tulip bed at the base of my front yard flagpole. They came as a set. One crouches, looking cute, and the other sits on his hind legs, also looking cute.

The crouching squirrel is missing.

I can't imagine a burgler sneaking into my front yard by dark of night, and making off with one squirrel.

So, then, what happened to the crouching squirrel?

I have an idea--I think it's been kidnapped, no squirrel-napped. Carried off in the night, squirrel-napped by a band of wild squirrels and taken prisoner. I think if we conducted a search, we might find it tucked away in the hollow of a tree, wondering why the heck someone hasn't put out an Amber Alert for Squirrels on it's behalf. Or wondering how much ranson (in the form of walnuts) has been requested for it's return to the front yard tulip bed. It wonders why the sitting squirrel hasn't hired detectives to find it. Poor thing. I hope it's squirrel-nappers are kind to it.

I would like to make a public plea to the squirrel-nappers to return the crouching squirrel to the tuplip bed. I will NOT negotiate with terrorists. There are no walnuts here, I am a poor working midwife. Please, return the crouching squirrel to it's home.

Dining at Home

I really love my mother. I hope to be half as nice as her when I grow up, if I am, I will be a truly nice person. But if I ever start to cook like her, I want my children to put me out of their misery. Thank God I go out to lunch every day and get one decent meal.
I have regaled my kids with some of the treats I have been tortured with. Black bean chili with no meat or tomato sauce. Chicken with sauerkraut. God help me.
Today, we had very wilted lettuce with shriveled up tomatoes, these poor, pitiful pork chops that had been virtually burnt to a crisp (I picked one up and whacked the plate with it, like a hockey puck) and these absolutely horrible broccoli bits, that had been boiled past recognition and topped with watery cheese.
Then it was followed up with baked apples. Too chewy to eat, sour and topped with reduced calorie whipped cream. MMMM.
Where are the take out menus? Is there any pizza delivery out there????
HHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!