Diego's Retort

Hmphhhh. Diego (NOT Dee-Eggo) here. The nice lady has let me use the computer. She read me the stupid stuff that beasty-cat wrote. He thinks he's in charge around here, HA, not likely. I am the TOP DOG.

That nice lady came to visit and she sits with me one the couch and cuddles. I really like here, she scratches my ears and takes me for little walks. She gives me treats. The only thing is that about the same time she arrived, that beasty-cat arrived too. I HATE him. He marches around like he owns the place, jumping the the shelves and furniture, knocking things down. The other day, I was cuddling with the nice lady on the sofa and he must have been jealous, because he got on the shelf behind us and knocked a big Hulk figure down on the nice lady's head, clunk. She sqeaked! I think it must have hurt, because she seemed very mad at the beasty-cat.

I have plans to corner him and bite his head off. If only he didn't have sharp fingers. I will have to consider this. He can be fun to play with, I chase him up and down the hall. And then he makes Meowing noises at me. HA.

I will always be TOP DOG.

The Adventures of Harley in the Land of Oz

Hello, Harley the wonder cat here....I am filling in for the human writer as she has a cold and cannot come to the computer.

I was recently stuffed into a small box and forced on a long trip to a new house. I tried to escape once on the trip, but was foiled by the desire I had to eat kitty treats. Rats. Stuffed in that carrier again. When I arrived after a long day at the new house, I was greeted by this icky litte black dog-like rat creature the humans seem to call Dee-Eggo. He's a pain, but I have successfully subdued him. I steal his toys at will, and glare at him from high places. He lives in fear of my claws. Smelly rat-dog. My life is plagued by the rat dogs, big and small. But I will triumph in the end.

I have spent these last few weeks persecuting Dee-Eggo. It has be fun. I have a new room, and get to sleep with the Mammahead. There's no large rat-dog to growl and throw me off the bed. It's nice. I wake her almost every morning at 4 am to play with me. She bought me a fishing pole toy with a bell and pom-pom on the end of an elastic cord, and I give it to her every morning and she throws it off the bed so I can chase it. It's quite fun. She seems to have some objection to the hour, but too bad for her.

I found a wonderful trick to torment the human Mammahead. The other night, I stole her glasses. She always put them down on the floor by the bed, and so I stole them. She couldn't find them when she got up. It was SO funny. She and the big boy human looked and looked and still couldn't find where I hid them. I laughed all day. The next morning at 4 am, I gave them back to her. I had wrapped them in my fishing pole toy and dropped them on her at 4 am. She was so surprised. HA HA HA

Then, the next day, I stole that silver ticking thing she wears on her wrist all the time. I still haven't given it back to her. Every so often, she yells at me and says "Give me back my watch!" I have no idea what she means.

I will keep you all posted about my further adventures. I have to get access to the computer while the humans are out of the house....