Mammahead Report

My favorite time of the year

2012-01-27T18:38:00.000-08:00

I love fall. October to be specific. I love that first morning when you go outside and there's a crispness in the air that you can smell. I love the colors of the leaves, the flaming color of a red maple, the gold of the yellow maples, the rich brown of the oaks. I love the clear blue of the sky and the nippy cool breeze. There are some places that I love to drive--there's a spot between Lawrence and KC on K-10, you come up over a hill and look down into a little valley, the hills are covered with trees of every type, and the sparkle with color about the third week in October--it's so beautiful it takes your breath away. And in Baldwin City during the Maple Leaf Festival, the trees look like they're on fire.

I love the fall.

The passing of the fish

2011-06-13T17:13:00.000-07:00

When Ethan's fiance moved in with us, she brought 2 cats and a fish. The cats have adjusted well, everyone loves them, and they tolerate everyone. The fish, well, hasn't fared too well. I've been thinking he was at death's door for quite a while, but, he had, at least until today, kept swimming around, even if he looked a little peaked.

The is the conversation, via text message, I had with my son today, regarding the fish.

Fish finally kicked the bucket.
Are you sure, really sure??
Yep. He has entered the great fish tank in the sky.
Maybe he's just taking a rest.
He's joined the choir invisible.
I think he's just resting, taking a nap.
He's not resting, he's stone dead.
Maybe he's pining....for the fjords.
No, he's not pining...he is an ex-fish.
Well, then flush him.
Done. Now a moment of silence....And now Ice Cream.
I want ice cream.

Poor fishy.

Strange Dreams

2010-03-10T16:16:00.000-08:00

I had the strangest dream last night. I was back in Rockford, at Swedish American Hospital, visiting someone on the OB floor. One of the nurses came and got me, and said there was a patient who wanted me to deliver her baby. I walked into the room, and a woman was having a baby (I had no idea who she was) but she seemed to know me. She was about to deliver, when I realized I didn't have a license in Illinois any more, much less privileges at this hospital. I was trying to tell the staff that I couldn't do this, I couldn't deliver this baby, and they needed to find someone else to do it, but alas, it was too late, the baby came, and I delivered it. All I could think about was how I would probably be arrested since I wasn't licensed in Illinois and shouldn't have done this. No one else seemed to care.
How wierd is that?

Good Karma

2008-05-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

I have done my good deed for the year. And it's an interesting story.

Last week, out of nowhere, I got a phone call.

"This is Amy McGowan, Assistant District Attorney in Douglas County. Is this B. P., the nurse?"
"Yes. Can I help you?"
"Did you work in the Emergency Department in September 1995?"
"Wow, that was a long time ago, but yes, I did."

She went on to ask if I recalled a certain patient, the victim of a rape, that I had taken care of...as it happens, it was the first rape victim I had ever taken care of, and I DID remember her.

Well, it seems that we did slides of body fluids which went to the Kansas Bureau of Investigation's DNA data base, and we then put into the national data base, Codus (spelling?). Now, 13 years later, a miscreant in California was arrested, and low and behold, his DNA turns up in our little case--well, come to find out not just ours, but THREE rape cases in KS. And KS has this interesting law that says if the perpatrator of a crime leaves the state, the clock on the statute of limitations stops until he returns to the state. So, the creep was extradited back to KS, and now is on trial for rape in Douglas County. And it just so happens yours truly was the RN who took the samples and sent them to KBI and the lab which were used to find this guy. The ADA wanted me to testify to the fact that I did indeed obtain those specimens, handled them according to procedure, and did my job right.

I was delighted to help.

So, last Wednesday, I went to Lawrence, took the stand in the trial and told them the truth. I was the examining nurse, I took these specimens, I handled them properly and sent them to the proper place. I was happy to do my civic duty.

Today, someone from the DA's office called me and said that worthless scum had been CONVICTED of SEVEN counts of rape, and will be sentenced next week.

So, because I did my job 13 years ago, and did it right, he got caught. And at least partially because I was able to testify to those facts, he was convicted of his crimes.

I did my good deed for the year, I'd say. And I was happy to do it. We are all the safer for the DA in Lawrence. And that is such a good thing.

Too Close For Comfort

2008-04-20T14:16:00.000-07:00

I have come uncomfortably close to death several times thus far in my life, but my most recent brush was one too close for comfort.

I once was nearly killed in a car accident that actually never happened. Before we were married, my husband, then boyfriend, and I were in a car, crossing an intersection and someone ran a red light, and missed us by literally a hair. As I saw the car speeding toward us, I knew we were going to die, but miraculously, Randy hit the gas and the speeding car missed us completely. I was terrified.

When we had our house fire in 2002, if Mom had not awakened me, alerting me to the fire, we would have died in our sleep. The fire crept across the attic, the ceiling would have collapsed and we would have died in our beds.

But more recently, I entered the hospital for a right total knee replacement. During my recovery, I evidently came very close to respiratory arrest, saved by an attentive physical therapist. I had stood at the bedside and laid back down, I still had the epidural in place, and I remember laying back and sort of fading out.

The next thing I remember was being jostled awake and told I was being transferred to ICU, and someone came in and told me they thought I had stopped breathing. There was a theory that I had too much narcotic and stopped breathing, so they shut off my narcotic epidural, and the pain in my knee came back with a roar. They kept telling me I couldn't have anything, and it was excruciating. Over the next several days, it became obvious that I had been left alone, for over 2 hours and somehow the head of the bed was flattened, and I slowly began to stop breathing. If it wasn't for the physical therapist checking on me, I am sure I would have died.

It's really all a blur, but I am so glad just to have survived that hospitalization. The care was horrible. I cannot believe it was that bad, but it was. It will be quite some time before I get the 2nd knee done, and it sure won't be at Olathe Medical Center.

Remembering Mom

2008-02-21T11:11:00.000-08:00

The loss of my mother has been very hard for me. I was an only child, and my father died when I was nine, so it me and Mom against the world, always. She was a wonderful mother, who taught me that there is nothing out of reach if you are willing to work hard. She taught me the value of education. She taught me what unconditional love is really all about and was an example of kindness, patience and humor. There is a huge hole in my heart and life, and I miss her every day. She was SO proud of me, and SO proud of my children. They were the greatest joy of her life, as they continue to be the greatest joy of my life every day. She was never hesitant to tell us all how much she loved us.

This is a brief eulogy we read at her memorial serivce:

Mary Louise “Billie” Noble -- Nov. 29, 1919 to Nov. 29, 2007

Before we begin, we want to thank each of you for coming to join us this evening. Mom's passing was sudden, even though she was 88, she was in good health, and we feel very blessed that she was not ill, and did not suffer. She was loved and cherished by many people in her life, and our family will miss her.

Mary Louise Noble, known by her many friends and family as "Billie" was born in Farnam, Nebraska, on November 29, 1919 to Virgie Spangler Crossgrove and Merle Crossgrove. She was their second child; however, her older sibling, a boy, named Vernon, and had died at 4 days of age.

She grew up on the farm in the 1920's with no electricity, running water or indoor toilets. She suffered a severe injury to her knee at the age of 2, and her parents feared she would never walk without a crutch. Her doctor wanted to break her leg and re-set it, but her mother intervened and refused to let him do it, instead doing her own version of physical therapy and encouraging Billie to walk. With the help of a tiny chair, built by an uncle and a large gray tabby cat on whom she leaned, she learned to walk again and even to run.

Her sister was born when she was four, and they have had a close relationship throughout their lives. One very vivid memory she often told of was when she and her sister, Dorothy, were walking home from school and Billie threw a lunchbox at her, causing a cut on Dorothy's head, which bled and bled. Of course, Dorothy was upset and crying, and covered in blood. Billie said her mother was so frightened by the blood that she never even was punished for her misdeed. Of course, she never threw anything at anyone ever again!

She loved school and did very well. She had a love of reading from a very early age, and although was only allowed to finish the 8th grade of formal education, continued to read nearly everything she could throughout her life. She would often go to the library and come home with 5-6 books and have them all read in 2-3 days. And one of her favorite presents was a gift card for Border's, since she really enjoyed spending money on a good book. She love biography and history, and even collected cookbooks and bibles.

She grew up during the "Great Depression" and the dust bowl of the 1930's, and her parents struggled to get by. They grew a lot of their own food and Grandma Crossgrove sold eggs in town for extra cash. Billie left home at the age of 17, in 1937, and moved to Lincoln, Nebraska, where she got a job as a maid and governess for a wealthy family. She made $6.00/week, and sent $4/week home to the farm. She took care of the children, cooked and cleaned and had Sunday's off. At one point, she got appendicitis, and had to have surgery--that was the only time she cut back on the amount of money she sent back home, since she had to pay her hospital bill.

It was in Lincoln she met Vivion O. Noble, and fell in love. World War II was raging, but the US was not yet fully involved. Vivion moved to California to find work, and Billie followed, staying with her future sister- and brother-in-law, Genevieve and Jim Whitmer, until she and Viv were married on November 2, 1944. She worked for the telephone company and was chief operator when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor on December 7. She recalled how the switchboard "lit up like a Christmas tree" as many people tried to call friends and family in Hawaii, and told the operators the terrible news about the bombing.

She continued to work for the phone company, and Viv worked for the engineering firm, Bendix. Briefly in 1952 they returned to Nebraska, thinking they might farm, but it quickly became obvious they would not make a go of farming on 160 acres, and they returned to Los Angeles, Viv returning to his job at Bendix and Billie, being pregnant at the time, stayed home to raise their daughter, Barbara, born November 7, 1952. In 1956, she and Viv opened their home to a young Hungarian refugee, Sandor Osvath, who came to learn English and loved their home so much, he stayed for 4 years, and became their "adopted" son.

Motherhood was the greatest joy of her life, and she made a beautiful and loving home for her family. On December 22, 1961, her husband, Viv, died suddenly of a blood clot to the lung, leaving her alone to care for her young daughter. She opened an Antique Shop, but as she often said, she wasn't a very good at dickering, and it was not successful. Billie and Barbara moved to New York, to be closer to Billie's sister and her family, and then, after her Father became ill in Nebraska, they moved to Kearney, Nebraska to be closer to her aging parents. For the next several years, she and Barbara spent every weekend in Gothenburg, helping her parents with shopping, household chores and laundry. After Billie's father died, her mother moved to a retirement apartment in Kearney. Billie also helped care for her Aunt, Nora La Bounty, who lived in a nursing home in Kearney in her later years as well. In Kearney, Billie worked for the Nebraska Book Company, and managed their very successful college book store first in an off-campus location called the College Book Store and Market, and then on-campus as the Antelope Book Store. She retired from there in 1987 after 23 years of service.

Barbara married Randall Parker December 2, 1971, and they have 3 children, Erik, Elinor and Ethan. Billie often said her grandchildren were the "frosting on the cake", and she was devoted to them. After her retirement, Billie moved to Lawrence, KS to be closer to her family and grandchildren. She soon moved into the Parker household and has been there ever since, managing the household and caring for her family. She was tremendously proud of her family, and supported and encouraged them to follow their dreams throughout their lives. Since her own education had been cut short, and she often felt handicapped by her lack of education, she strongly believed encouraged and supported her family's educational goals, and was tremendously proud that they all graduated from college(except for Ethan, who is still going to college!).

She loved animals, and was never without a dog or cat and usually more than one of each. She especially loved Siamese cats and dachshund dogs, and owned a number of each throughout her life. She was quite a collector, and had collections of many types--she collected coins, violets, doxie dogs, Siamese cats, Tea Leaf Ironstone China, cookbooks, Santas, and bibles. She loved to cook and made the best apple pie on earth. We joke that in her later years she took up furniture breeding, because it seemed like every time we turned around, she had another piece of furniture in the house to stick in a corner somewhere. But she did love and collect antiques.

She was an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and regularly attended meetings until recently, when it was too difficult for her to sit for long periods of time.

Billie will always be remembered by those who love her for her warmth and kindness, her strength of character and devotion to her family. We will miss her every day.

In Memory

2008-01-30T09:19:00.001-08:00

Please go to http://spinster2000.blogspot.com/ to see a wonderful video that my daughter put together for Mom. I have remarkable children, and so very much is thanks to my wonderful Mom.

How I Spent My Vacation

2007-11-14T18:22:00.000-08:00

I went to Mass. to visit my wonderful daughter, and help her with the costumes for the upcoming show she was working on. It's set in the 1790's French Revolution, so all the costumes were period pieces. Most had to be constructed from scratch. I know she purchased at least 260 yards of fabric, plus more trim, buttons, snaps and hooks than I can count. I spent about 50-60 hours during that week helping sew. Ellie clocked about 340 hours herself. This is the list of what was made for this show:

7 waistcoats
2 men's shirts
9 men's dress coats with trim
10 deputy robes
10 pairs of breeches
6 aristocratic women's dresses with trim
5 peasant dresses
3 red peasant coats
4 pairs of boot covers
4 citizen sashes
1 General Dillon sash
1 shawl
2 head scarves
4 women's chokers
8 cravats that were a pain in the butt
1 feathered barrette
2 flowered barrettes
1 stupid walking stick with an ugly knob
109 buttons
109 button holes
1 frog
4 gold clasps
206 eyelets and God only knows how many yards of ribbon and lacing
15 hooks & eyes
30 pairs of snaps

And a partridge in a pear tree.

It was really fun, and I loved doing it, and spending time with that Costume Wrangler. She's the best daughter ever. And I got a free dinner out of it. Yummmmy.

If they do a period piece next year, I'll go help again.

Seamstress is alive and well, living in Kansas.

The Mom Song Sung to William Tell Overture

2007-10-03T21:03:00.001-07:00

This is entirely too funny and too true.

When I die, I want to come back as an otter

2007-09-19T15:30:00.000-07:00

In the better days of my marriage, really the first 25 years....My husband always said he wanted to be reinacarnated as an otter, since they always look like they have so much fun--and they have a great life--eat, sleep, play, have sex, and then repeat. At least that's what they seem to do...These adorable creatures make me think he had a great point. (See the Video)

The other thing he wanted to be reincarnated as was a water buffalo. No one ever bothers or argues with a water buffalo. Somehow those two things don't exactly equate, but he did have different moods.

I like to remember the part of him that wanted to be an otter. I always pictured my golden years as one of those two otters. I really miss the otter. Not so much do I miss the water buffalo.

Santa at the Gas and Go

2007-08-30T19:53:00.000-07:00

I saw Santa today, at the Phillips 66 Gas and Go down on the corner of Santa Fe St. and Laurel Drive. He was working the counter, selling gas and diesel, candy, cigarettes and pop to the patrons of the filling station. It must be the price of reindeer chow that has forced him into an off-season career as a convenience store clerk. Well, it can't be the price of gas, after all. He doesn't use any of that...at least I never thought he did.

I pulled in to fill up my car tonight, it was running on fumes, again, and there he was. Chubby, pink-cheeked, gold wire-rimmed specs and a warm smile, Santa Claus. At the Gas and Go. I usually pay at the pump, but when I saw him inside the station, I selected the "Pay Inside" button, just so I could check it out in person.

I put $40 of regular in Dora (I named the car Dora, like "Dora, the Explorer"), and went in to pay. I gave my Phillips 66 card to Santa. "Anything else?", he inquired. "No, thanks", I said. I was trying NOT to stare. He was wearing a shirt with the Gas and Go logo on it, but no embroidered name. Well, it was pretty obvious who he was, so I guess he didn't really need his name stitched on there for all to see.

I was pushing my way out the door, and he said, "Merry Christmas, come again." Oh my.

I saw Santa at the Gas and Go.

Been there, done that.....

2007-08-26T06:23:00.001-07:00

This is too funny for words:

LOT OF POKEMON CARDS THAT MY KIDS TRIED TO SNEAK BY ME - (eBay item 130144061675 end time Aug-22-07 12:03:50 PDT)

I could tell several stories very similar, and I only had THREE kids.

Has It Really Been That Long?

2007-07-19T19:43:00.000-07:00

I am astonished that my last entry was June 10. Good grief.

Well, we are moved, it was awful. My loan was processed, no thanks to the inept people at Countrywide. I have NEVER had trouble with them before, but they were unreal this time. Asking for all kinds of irrelevant crap up to 24 hours prior to closing. I thought I would have a heart attack--here I was in a motel with 2 dogs, a cat, a grandma, son and daughter-in-law and they were threatening me with no closing on the house. I was about 1/2 inch away from a full blown panic attack. But, it all was fine, I was reminded by those around me that EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT, and it was.

Moving was hell. It always is. Poor Ellie, she didn't even live here and still she did the huge majority of the packing. Bless her, a thousand times, bless her. And Erik and Eunice and the showing of the house in Rockford, what an ordeal. Bless them, a thousand times, also. And Ethan, giving me a place to live for 2 months. And putting up with Harley. Oh my. I have NO idea what I would have done without all of those kids. They are each and every one completely awesome. I am the luckiest Mom ever.

The house is great. I love the 2 floors and the 3 baths. I love the fence which is now done, and the laundry on the first floor.

I am so enjoying my job. I love the time there and the time off is even better. It's MINE, no call, no pagers, no obligations. It's wonderful. I had no idea I was so burned out.

I have hired the lawn people and a cleaning lady. I think life is just about set at the moment. We'll see how it goes. Soon, I will be done unpacking boxes for a while too. And then I can see if I can enjoy a hobby or two. Wow. I might get to sew something. Imagine that..... :)

2007-06-09T17:37:00.001-07:00

Here's a photo of my new house! Effective June 20, anyway. Our new address will be 1020 East Pumpkin Ridge St., Gardner, KS 66030.

On the Move, Finally

2007-06-08T14:46:00.000-07:00

Well, much has transpired since my last post. The house in Illinois sold...Praise be to whomever! And I found a great house here in KS. I will try and post a picture. It's 99% perfect--3 bedrooms, with a laundry on the main floor. It is in need of fencing around part of the back yard, but that's really all...and some paint. The kitchen is something awful. The colors are ketchup and mustard. Who thinks that's appealing? Oh my....
I close on the house in IL on next Thursday, bring Mom and the dogs to KS, and wait for the closing on the new house here on the 20th. That should be an interesting few days....a hotel, dogs, Mom, me, Ellie, Erik & Eunce....This too shall pass.....
Harley has taken complete possession of me. He thinks I am a cat toy, down to the place where he launched himself off my arm leaving scratches and bruises. I went out and bought him ostrich feather toys, and he really likes them. Maybe he won't feel the need to claw me up again.
My children are remarkable people. Each and every one of them.
Erik and Eunice have been coordinating the move, running Mom all over the place, and managing the showing of the house--No small task, having shown it at least 50 times over a 6 week period. Ellie is giving up her vacation time to help pack and move and tend to the Grandma. Ethan has graciously allowed me to move into his apartment, take over his bedroom, while he sleeps on the futon on the living room floor for 2 whole months. I quite simply do not know how I would have managed this without each and every one of them. They are the most wonderful people I know. And I love them to bits.
I got great news from my friend Pam today--her son and daughter-in-law are adopting again, this time a little boy. She is so thrilled and I am so thrilled for her and her husband Jim. It's the best news for her in the last year!
More later when the family is together again......

Diego's Retort

2007-05-17T05:47:00.000-07:00

Hmphhhh. Diego (NOT Dee-Eggo) here. The nice lady has let me use the computer. She read me the stupid stuff that beasty-cat wrote. He thinks he's in charge around here, HA, not likely. I am the TOP DOG.

That nice lady came to visit and she sits with me one the couch and cuddles. I really like here, she scratches my ears and takes me for little walks. She gives me treats. The only thing is that about the same time she arrived, that beasty-cat arrived too. I HATE him. He marches around like he owns the place, jumping the the shelves and furniture, knocking things down. The other day, I was cuddling with the nice lady on the sofa and he must have been jealous, because he got on the shelf behind us and knocked a big Hulk figure down on the nice lady's head, clunk. She sqeaked! I think it must have hurt, because she seemed very mad at the beasty-cat.

I have plans to corner him and bite his head off. If only he didn't have sharp fingers. I will have to consider this. He can be fun to play with, I chase him up and down the hall. And then he makes Meowing noises at me. HA.

I will always be TOP DOG.

The Adventures of Harley in the Land of Oz

2007-05-09T16:48:00.000-07:00

Hello, Harley the wonder cat here....I am filling in for the human writer as she has a cold and cannot come to the computer.

I was recently stuffed into a small box and forced on a long trip to a new house. I tried to escape once on the trip, but was foiled by the desire I had to eat kitty treats. Rats. Stuffed in that carrier again. When I arrived after a long day at the new house, I was greeted by this icky litte black dog-like rat creature the humans seem to call Dee-Eggo. He's a pain, but I have successfully subdued him. I steal his toys at will, and glare at him from high places. He lives in fear of my claws. Smelly rat-dog. My life is plagued by the rat dogs, big and small. But I will triumph in the end.

I have spent these last few weeks persecuting Dee-Eggo. It has be fun. I have a new room, and get to sleep with the Mammahead. There's no large rat-dog to growl and throw me off the bed. It's nice. I wake her almost every morning at 4 am to play with me. She bought me a fishing pole toy with a bell and pom-pom on the end of an elastic cord, and I give it to her every morning and she throws it off the bed so I can chase it. It's quite fun. She seems to have some objection to the hour, but too bad for her.

I found a wonderful trick to torment the human Mammahead. The other night, I stole her glasses. She always put them down on the floor by the bed, and so I stole them. She couldn't find them when she got up. It was SO funny. She and the big boy human looked and looked and still couldn't find where I hid them. I laughed all day. The next morning at 4 am, I gave them back to her. I had wrapped them in my fishing pole toy and dropped them on her at 4 am. She was so surprised. HA HA HA

Then, the next day, I stole that silver ticking thing she wears on her wrist all the time. I still haven't given it back to her. Every so often, she yells at me and says "Give me back my watch!" I have no idea what she means.

I will keep you all posted about my further adventures. I have to get access to the computer while the humans are out of the house....

The Latest News

2007-04-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I have officially landed in the land of Oz. I had my first day at work today, and I felt right at home in family practice. I was really observing another NP, but I/we saw sinusitis, allergic rhinitis, ear aches, shingles, back pain, URIs, UTIs and yeast. Even a girl who didn't show up for depo, thought she might be pregnant, and thank the Lord was not, since the 4 (count them FOUR) kids she had with her were terrors. HA!

The house is showing well, altogether 28 groups through yesterday. Darcy things an offer is upcoming soon. We shall see....

I miss everyone in Rockford, Mom, Erik, Eunice, Pam, Deb, my puppy dog. I brought Harley cat with me, and he's doing fine. He and Diego are sizing one another up even as I write this.

I have alot of thoughts about my time in Rockford, but I won't go into them right now. It's good to feel like I am home again, however.

Sorting

2007-02-25T17:03:00.000-08:00

I have a new rule. Anything may be brought into the house as long as it will be used or eaten before we move.

I spent this weekend sorting, and pitching. Things are divided into 3 categories--keep, dump or donate. And I am being ruthless. I am not moving a bunch of crap. No, it's not going along. This is a great opportunity to clear out the unnecessary junk cluttering my life.

I think I could audition for Clean Sweep. I'd be great. Not as nice as that Austrialian/English guy, but just as efficient!

:)

THIS is what I have to work with.....

2007-02-18T05:47:00.000-08:00

http://fructusventris.stblogs.org/

A New Adventure

2007-02-10T07:45:00.000-08:00

Well, after many sleepless nights, much thought and some prayer, it looks like I'm ready for a new adventure.

I am giving up the world of mothers and babies, and will be moving back into family practice. And leaving the frozen north and returning to the great plains.

As of April 13, I will be finished at Cornerstone and on April 16, I will begin working for Take Care Health, in Kansas City, KS. I will work 36-40 hours/week, one weekend day/month, no call, no nights, no surgery. I will have real insurance, real benefits.

There are alot of things I will miss. I will miss my special patients, I will miss my dear, dear friend and partner, Pam. I will miss Deb. I will miss Jodi. I will miss lots of people at the office. Some more than others. I will miss many of the nurses at OSF, a few at RMH, no one at Swedes.

There's alot of work to do between now and then. I should get busy.

Enough Already

2007-02-07T19:34:00.000-08:00

Another post on Natural Family Planning from the Mole. Argh. I've had enough.

A Wise Woman once asked me, "What do you call people who practice natural family planning?" I looked perplexed.
"Parents", she said.

Hmmm. Sounds about right to me.

OK, OK, high blood pressure meds are on the way

2007-01-26T16:28:00.000-08:00

I have broken the law.

No, I have been speeding, well, not much anyway, and not intentionally.

I have illicitly ordered medications from Canada. Shhhh. Can't tell the Feds. I can get 100 tablets for $79, and in the US it costs me $123 for 30. Hmmmm, something seems amiss here. Why are the SAME meds so much less across the border? I really don't begin to understand.

I ordered them yesterday, and I hope to have them in the cupboard within a week or so. Then, I will take them for a while, and THEN I will let Pam take my blood pressure. Only then.

I love all of you who worry about me. Thanks.

In My Thoughts

2007-01-21T09:50:00.000-08:00

I have had a lot on my mind lately. Serious stuff.

I have been thinking about my life and career. I really love being a midwife, being a part of new families, bringing joy into the world. But it is taking a toll on me on a personal level.

I am having trouble controlling my blood sugars. I went back on Atkins just after the 1st of the year. I have lost about 10 lbs, but, even on meds, my fasting blood sugars are still 160, and they should be 90 or less. During the day and my after meal numbers aren't so bad, but that fasting number really sucks. I haven't been able to afford my high blood pressure meds, so I haven't even taken it in months. I just don't want to know what it is. I know that has to stop, I'm going to have a stroke! My knees are killing me all the time, and I desperately need two knee replacements, but with our health insurance at work, the approximate cost would be about $5K apiece, which is ridiculous. To say nothing of the fact that I doubt I would be able to get any time off to do it. Standing for a C/Section about kills me. I did a very difficult one with KZ in December, we worked for an hour and 40 min, and by the time we finished, I couldn't feel my left leg from the hip to the floor. That would be a back issue, what with the 5 herniated discs that I have. My job is physically demanding, and although I love it, I don't think I will be able to do this for another 13 years till retirement.

Ahh, which brings me to retirement, and the fact that I have NONE. According to Social Security, if I work till I'm 66, I'll get just under $2K/month. Hmmm, by then, will I be able to survive on that?? Doubtful.

Then there's the fact that I have not have a raise in 4 years. They were generous the 1st year I was here, and then it stopped. Not that I don't make good money, I do. But some sort of recognition would really be nice.

And then there's the Mole. I positively hate working with the Mole. If this is what my boss wants, perhaps I don't belong here any more.

I really have to think about what to do here. My life may depend on it.

I like Rockford. It's better now that E & E are here, much easier for me. They do so much to make my life better, and I love them for it. I like my house, it's very comfortable, the yard is lovely, the dogs like it. But I just don't know.

This has been bugging me for nearly 6 months now. I have to make some sort of a decision soon. No decision is, in it's own way, a decision to continue in the current path.

I am so lucky to have a supportive family. They all say, do what you need to do to take care of yourself. They are truly the best.

I think of my wonderful friend and partner Pam. What would this mean to her if I changed jobs? Would she follow suit and leave too? I know she would give most anything to be closer to her kids in Omaha, and who on earth could blame her for that?What would it mean to midwifery in Rockford? Would it mean the end of midwives in Rockford. I would hate for that to happen. What would it do to Jodi? What would it mean to her practice? I feel obliged to consider these things.

See what I mean, I have a lot on my mind.

Holiday Greetings

2006-12-10T18:31:00.000-08:00

This is just too good to pass up.

Click here: http://www.thecompassgroup.biz/merryxmas.swf

Enough already!

2006-12-10T13:34:00.000-08:00

It has really NOT been the best week I have ever had. Let me recap...

Fri, Dec 1 - nasty snowstorm. Arrived at work, cancelled the day from noon on. No one in their right mind should be out in this weather. Went home at noon. To the hospital at 4:00, since Alicia (new midwife) thought the grand multip would deliver within an hour. Slight miscalculation, she delivered at 2 am. I got to spend 10 hours in a small room with someone who knows everything and everyone. Just shoot me.

Sat. Lost my check/debit card. Cancelled it, and had to wait till Mon. to order a new one.

Mon. It will take 2 full weeks to get a new debit card. Now how am I supposed to shop for Christmas??? Ethan called to report he was fired.

Tues - short lunch hour, drove through Beefa-roo with Deb. Got back to the office to find our order was screwed up, and instead of her chicken strips and fries and my turkey wrap, we had one cheeseburger and fries, which we ended up splitting. Good grief.

Thurs - kids left for Virginia. God help me. Mom "cooked". A term I am using loosely, very loosely. Menu: Spaghetti sauce (sans pasta of any sort), a sweet potato, 1/2 artichoke and a bowl of lettuce. Aside from the fact that sauce is generally NOT served without pasta, the combination of things was too wierd for words. The

trash people throwing all of my trash cans in the drainage ditch in front of the house. I retrieved 3 of them, but Erik had to wade in after #4. Damn trash people. They were less than nice when I called to complain.

I called Ellie and told her she needed to hurry up and come for the holiday, as someone was going to be dead--either me, from shooting myself, or Mom, because I lost it and shot her.

Fri - took Mom to hobby lobby. Got a $250 ticket for parking in the handicapped spot and not hanging my tag up. I will have to appeal this one. Things are looking up, Ethan has a new job, working for the legal department of a Title Company. And he still gets to come for Christmas.

OK, time for a new week.

An Ode to Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T10:05:00.000-08:00

Was the night of "Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep,
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned--The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door,
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey, and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling, so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.

I crashed throught the ceiling, floating into the sky,
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But I maanged to yell as I soared past the tress...
Happy eating to all, pass the cranberries please.

May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious, may your pies take the prize,
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.

Courtesy of someone who emailed this to me, no author mentioned.
:)

OK, what I really did on vacation...

2006-10-20T17:21:00.000-07:00

Saturday - took Mom to the hairdresser
Sunday - Can't remember
Monday - Had my knees shot with cortisone (OH, that felt goooood), went to the spa, had a facial, manicure, pedicure and massage. Had a terrible headache from the massage, my neck is a mess.
Tuesday - Took Mom to the doctor
Wedesnday - Took Mom to the foot doctor, took Harley to get "Tuetered, no I mean, Neutered"
Thursday - Took Eunice to Doctor, went to Cherry Valley Library.
Friday - Took Brisco to the Doctor, went to the Apple Orchard.
Saturday - Took Mom to the hairdresser
Sunday - Got my hair cut and colored.

There seems to be a theme here--Everyone went to the doctor this week. I spent a lot of time in the car. And I did get to sleep, and the pager is turned completely off.

We'll see when the next vacation is--the week before Christmas.
I wonder how many punch in/out I'll forget this week. How ridiculous.

What I did on my Summer Vacation

2006-10-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

Went in search of a few good men.

Couldn't find any, so purchased chocolate instead.

Left them at the office for colleagues so they wouldn't forget me.

:)

Phobias, revisited

2006-10-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me about what the exact term for fear of hairy moles is, and so I have done some research.
To the best of my determinations, it is

Chaetophobia (fear of hair) PLUS Dermatophobia (Fear of Moles/skin lesions), so in other words:

Chaetodermatophobia.

There you go, Jim, that one is just for you....
:)

The Twenty Most Popular Fears--Just in Time for Halloween

2006-10-13T16:54:00.000-07:00

Are you phobic??

Here is a list of the 20 most popular fears:
Triskaidekaphobia - fear of the number 13, or Friday the 13th
Acrophobia -fear of heights
Agoraphobia -fear of open spaces, the out of doors
Xenophobia -fear of strangers
Arachnophobia -fear of spiders
Heliophobia -faer of the sun
Pteromerhanophobia -fear of flying/airplanes
Necrophobia -fear of death
Claustrophobia -fear of small/confined spaces
Homophobia -fear of gay/homosexual people
Hydrophobia -fear of water
Photophobia -fear of light
Islamophobia -fear of Islam/Muslims
Coulrophobia -Fear of clowns
Glossophobia -fear of public speaking
Aichmophobia -fear of needles
Ophidiophobia -fear ofsnakes
Selachophobia -fear of sharks
Emetophobia -fear of vomiting
Arachibutyrophobia -fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth

OK, so, what are YOU afraid of ? Hairy Moles?

A Disturbing Finding

2006-10-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

When we adopted Harley (see picture below) I filled out an adoption application which asked numerous questions, directed toward seeing if I would be a fit cat owner. One of the questions was, "what will you feed the cat?" (I resisted the urge to write "anything he wants" or "large, fat mice".) I filled in the blank with what I thought would be a good answer: Science Diet.

I have fed my animals Science Diet for the last 15 years, and had been pretty satisfied--it's pricey, but I thought I was doing the best for my animals--they are worth it. The lady at the Shelter proceeded to tell me I might want to re-think that, since the Science Diet company had recently been purchased by Colgate Palmolive and had drastically changed their ingredients. She encouraged me to check the Science Diet web site and see for myself. And she encouraged me to purchase the Canidae/Felidae foods they have available there.

I was skeptical, I confess, but I went home and started doing some research. Turns out she's right. The EXPENSIVE Science Diet foods that I have been feeding my dogs are 45% peanut hulls. PEANUT HULLS!!!
I was horrified!

I emailed the consumer services people at Science Diet, expressing my distress. And you won't believe what they wrote back--"Peanut hulls are a tasty, nutritious filler" and assured me they only use "human quality" peanut hulls.

I have lived on this earth for nearly 54 years, and NEVER have I considered a peanut hull "tasty" or "human quality". No dog or person in their right mind would intentionally eat a PEANUT HULL. What kind of an idiot do they think I am???

I immediately forwarded the email to everyone I know with animals, and I decided to NEVER feed my animals that crap again. I feel just awful knowing that I have been feeding my poor puppies PEANUT HULLS for years now. It's a miracle they even wag their tails at me at all.

I am SO MUCH happier with the new food. The DOGS are so much happier.

Just goes to show, we need to do our research.

Mammahead Report

2006-09-18T20:09:00.000-07:00

Sorry about that, had a little hiccup.

I am enjoying my new car. I went and ordered special heavy duty floor mats, to guard against snow and salt. I am sure bad weather will be coming....

This has been a long, long day, but I can't go into it here. I am investing in a large, large bottle of exedrin for work. That, and I will be writing scrips for Valium with reckless abandon.

Everything will be all right.
Everything WILL be all right.
Everything will BE all right.
Everything will be ALL right.
Everything will be all RIGHT.
EVERYTHING will be all right.

This, too, shall pass. (Right now it feels like gall stones, however....)

Mammahead Report

2006-09-18T20:05:00.000-07:00

Mammahead Report

Oh, boy, what a week....

2006-09-15T18:08:00.000-07:00

Well, following the flood, I rented a perfectly awful Kia Rio (allegedly a "full size" car, what a joke) and spent the week trying to recuperate from the trauma. On Saturday, we went car shopping. I looked at a Ford Escape, not comfortable; a Honda CRV, also not comfortable, with the shift stick on the dash board??...Wierd! And finally a 2007 Saturn Vue, which was comfortable, priced right and very nice. I bought that--now I only have to pay for it forever, but it is very nice. I love the fact that it has "ON STAR" with a built in phone. It is SO cool. I just love it.
I haven't named it yet...I never did name the Taurus. Oh well, maybe something creative will come to me...

The Newest Family member

2006-09-08T19:09:00.000-07:00

Welcome Harley. Named because his motor is always running, purr, purr, purr.

Ascent to Heaven via Drowning

2006-09-08T18:51:00.000-07:00

I have lost a dear friend. My 1998 Red Ford Taurus passed on to the great junkyard in the sky (on to her next molecular calling) last Monday. She died a quick but brave death, by drowning. She was happily carrying me back from a delivery when she was caught in a flash flood, and drowned at about 3800 E. State Street. Torrential rains caused sudden flooding, and a 3 foot wall of water engulfed us as we tried to make our way home. She coughed and sputtered, and died. After she was pushed from the raging waters by a brave fireman, she tried to start, but could not cough enough of the water out of her engine to do so. She was pronounced dead by the mechanics at Butitta Brothers, and State Farm is paying for her memorial service.

She had a good life, and travelled to many places, inclulding Niagra Falls, Massachusetts, and Virginia. She was born in Kansas and passed on in Illinois. She was a dependable friend, always ready to take a quick trip anywhere. She saw me through a divorce, 3 houses, kids graduating college, and Midwifery School. She will always be remembered as a wonderful member of my family.

God Bless my Taurus. May she ascend to Car Heaven and live with a full tank of premium gas, a warm garage and a top-of-the-line wash and wax every other day.

Oh, no, what have I done....

2006-08-26T12:55:00.000-07:00

Anyone with a head (heart) as soft as mine should simply stay away from places like animal shelters, orphanages, Salvation Army buckets, etc. I am such a sucker.

This all started because Mom didn't want to make a memorial donation for my cousin who just died to the Gay group in LA that he had been involved with. She just wasn't comfortable supporting them. Well, it's her money, and she can be a bigot if she wants to be. So I suggested she make a contribution to something SHE felt was worthwhile, like the animal shelter or ASPCA or something, starving children in China, whatever. She decided that was a good idea, and told Aunt Dottie that was what she intended to do, which I guess met with her approval. At any rate, today, before the hairdresser, off we went to the animal shelter to make a donation.

OK, so could YOU go to the animal shelter and NOT look at the animals?? If so, you are a stronger person than me. I had to look. And there were so many cute, homeless kitties. Puppies too, but considering I have two of them already, I spent my time with the kitties.

There was this perfectly adorable one, all black with white boots who kept reaching through the bars of his tiny cage to me. It broke my heart. But then I took him out and all he wanted to do was bite and scratch. (That won't do).

So we left, went to the hairdresser, and then home. As I drove down the street closer and closer to home, I could see the poor little kitties crying, and I caved. I turned the car around and back we went. We held numerous kitties and finally settled on a gray tiger/tabby about 6 months old. It's a boy. As yet, un-named.

I pick him up on Monday. With the EXPRESS understanding he will NEVER go outdoors. I am now entertaining suggestions for names for a sweet gray tiger/tabby with green eyes, boy names, please.

Oh, what have I done.

OK, Pam, I know

2006-08-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

Ok Pam, I know you are right. Thanks for bringing me back to earth.
Everything is going to be all right.
Everything is going to be all right.
Everything is going to be all right.
Maybe if I say it long enough, I'll really believe it.

It's Been a Hard Day's Night

2006-07-29T15:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a hard day's night
Seems I am channeling an old Beatles song. Everytime Pam goes away, I seem to get the crap beat out of me. I am incredibly tired. I did not sleep on Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night or Wednesday night. Finally, I thought I would get to sleep on Thursday, but I had to get Mom to the hospital. I did sleep for about 4 hours that night. Friday night, I was in my own bed all night, but did not sleep. Brisco is perfectly happy to sleep in my bed. How a small dog can take up so much space, I will NEVER understand, but he does. He likes to sleep crossways on the pillows. Xena on the other hand, HATES to share her bed with him. She doesn't mind Teddy nearly so much, but Brisco, she absolutely HATES to share the bed with. She jumps off, then on, then off again. She stands on the bed and glowers at him. I place myself in the middles and she settles down, but that means I am not particularly comfortable. If I put Brisco on the floor, or in Mom's room in her chair or on the bed, he cries, barks and will not stay there. So, I become a human fence between the two of them. Add to that the 14 pages I got last night....Yes, I do not exaggerate. Fourteen. I hope Pam has had a nice vacation. Because I don't think I will ever allow her to leave, ever again. EVER. Aside from the fact that I miss her terribly (no one understands what I talk about in quite the same way), I don't think I could ever do this solo practice stuff again. I am too old, too tired, and too stressed. I started my day today with patients in two of the 3 local hospitals, rushed to one when the night shift nurse told me the patient was 9, alas, when I arrived she was really 4. Slight difference. I really needed to be at the OTHER hospital, where Mom was and where the other patient was as well. I came back and waited, waited, waited for her doc to make rounds, alas, he did not. I had to leave again, because this time the patient across town really WAS 9. She, thank the Lord, had a lovely little girl, who although she had only shown us clear fluid, turned it green while she was pushing. Then back across town again, Mom could be dismissed and she was chomping at the bit to get home. So I took her home, then back to the hosp again for the final (I pray) patient to deliver. This one will take some patience, too. 15 yrs old. Oh my.Everything is going to be all right.Everything is going to be all right.EVERYTHING is going to be all right.If I could only sleep for about 3 days.....

Dining Delights, No, REALLY

2006-07-24T17:45:00.000-07:00

Wow, I forgot what real home-cooked food tastes like. Having Eunice here is like having died and gone to cooking heaven. We have a weekly menu. I get to suggest what I would like to eat. I don't have to eat expired food anymore. We cleaned out the fridge AND the freezer, thank God. It's wonderful. I have had fajitas, stir fry, roast that's not like shoe leather. No more freezerburned items, it's amazing.
Thank you Eunice, Thankyou, THANKYOU!

The further adventures of Clyde and Clara

2006-07-23T19:03:00.000-07:00

Clyde and Clara are Karen's cats, whom I have described before in my writings. Well, Karen left for Michigan last Wednesday, and I have been cat-sitting again. I thought things were going very well, Clyde is always glad to see me, Clara is neurotic as usual. Until yesterday.

Clyde, who usually greets me at the door, was nowhere to be found yesterday morning. I could hear him meowing, but could not see him. I finally found him under the ottoman, when I moved it, there he was. I said, "Oh, poor Clyde, were you stuck there? (he wasn't)" and I reached down to pet him, and he attacked my hand, scratched up my arm and bit me! I retrieved my bleeding limb, and thought, FOR GOODNESS SAKE What is wrong with him.

I went upstairs, gave him fresh food and water, cleaned his litter box, did the same for Clara(who, by the way, was quite happy to see me), and started back down the stairs, and there was Clyde again, about 3/4 of the way down the stairs, back arched, hissing looking like Satan re-incarnated. I stepped closer, and he attacked my foot, which fortunately had on a sturdy New Balance sneaker, and pushed him down a step. He hissed and tried again.

I decided to "channel" the dog whisperer, and thinking more like a cat whisperer, I hissed back at him and stomped my feet on the stairs. It worked. He ran.

What the heck got into him.

I took my bloody arm home, washed it well with soap and water, treated it with antibiotic cream and a couple of bandaids. Hopefully I won't turn into a were-cat or get some sort of pasturella infection. Damn thing. That's the last time I cat sit for them!

My Dog Needs a Bath

2006-07-12T17:55:00.000-07:00

What is it about dogs that makes them love to roll in stinky stuff?

I don't know what Xena has been into, but, Lord Almighty, does it ever stink.
Have you ever thought about the logistics of trying to bathe a 75 lb. doberman who does NOT want to be bathed? Right.......

The Oracle of Starbucks

2006-07-11T19:21:00.000-07:00

This is evidently what they think of my perpetual order of a venti peppermint mocha.

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Clueless
You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink Venti peppermint mocha are strippers.
Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall

Hmmmm. I think they missed the mark on that one....

Tolerance

2006-06-28T16:13:00.000-07:00

I have found something else of which I am completely intolerant: Intolerance. I have had reason lately to devote some time to thinking about this, as I have been faced with some interesting folks who seem to preach tolerance with one side of their faces, and practice bigotry and judgementalism with the other.

Let me be more specific. Forgive me if I offend anyone, but I really have to believe in a God who loves all his children: White, Black, Yellow, Brown, pink with purple polka-dots. I really believe He loves you if you are Catholic, Mormon, Bhuddist, Islamic or Wiccan. I think He loves you even if you don't believe He exists. I certainly can't say I feel the same about people in general. Lots of people (mostly doctors) wish Midwives didn't exist; they certainly act like we don't exist, and I can't even for a second say I have any sort of feeling for them, except possibly contempt.

Ahh, but I digress. If I recall my New Testament study correctly (it has been quite a while...), Jesus really spent most of his time hanging out with the Sinners, the poor, the wretched, the great unwashed. He didn't chastise them for their station in life. In fact, it seems to me that most of the chastising that got done was directed toward those who should have known better and couldn't properly behave themselves--those who often thought they were "better" than others.

"Judge not that ye be not judged", is one of my favorite bits of wisdom from the scriptures. I think that means that if I am tolerant of others, and don't look down on them, or think ill of them, when it comes to the great judgement day, I will be looked on kindly by those who are required to evaluate my worldly behaviours. I like that idea. I try to live by that, some days I do better than others, but I really think I do try. I think you should try to meet people where they are in life, and accept them that way. Now, that doesn't mean you can try to educate, humor or cajole, even argue sometimes. But try to accept and love others for what they are, "sinners" just like me.

Now, I do confess there are some other things that I am intolerant of: Child molesters, people who abuse animals, people who take advantage of those in need or less fortunate than themselves. People who abuse the trust of the innocent.

But I know, that in THIS life anyway, there may not be justice. But I have to believe that there will be justice someday for all those people. I just hope not to be numbered among the intolerant. If I burn in Hell, at least it won't be because I was an intolerant, bigoted bitch. (After all, my ex-husband thought I was a pompous, arrogant, back-stabbing lesbian in need of therapy--that sounds like enough to send me to anyone's version of Hell, don't you think??)

In the meantime, I will happily prescribe birth contol pills to teenager, and married folks too. I will give follow up care to those who have had abortions, and I will be kind to doctors who are rude and abusive to me. We'll all get ours in the end....

Change is Good

2006-06-14T15:57:00.001-07:00

I got a great link from Ethan, and have made myself a South Park character. Here I am...

Things are changing around our house. We are making major adjustments to accomodate the soon to arrive family members. The oldest son and my daughter-in-law to be are moving in. So, Mom has vacated her room, taken up residence in my former office/den/guest room. The family room has become my office/hobby room, and the former living room wil now be in much heavier use than ever before. We have re-arranged the furniture, TVs and phones. We have curtained off walls in the basement for Erik to use as an office. I hired some energetic young men to help move furniture, and they did a good job, bless their hearts. They are my nurse's children, all 6 of them from 20 down to about 8 years of age.
Ellie has been visiting, and she has moved on down to visit in KS, leaving a small, black, pointy-footed dog to take up space in MY bed, much to Xena's distress. Ted likes to sleep up by my head, fortunately and Xena down by my feet. Unfortunately, they take up enough of the bed so as to not leave much for me!!
We are getting ready to have a kitty at our house again. I love kitties, I hope she will love us. We shall see...

Change is Good

2006-06-14T15:57:00.000-07:00

Waiting

2006-05-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

I am waiting. Waiting for a baby, or, I should say the 2nd baby of the day. Elizabeth Lorraine Marie was already birthed, and now we are waiting for hmmm, I think it's Zachary. Hopefully before midnight, we'll see.
I seem to spend alot of my time waiting. Waiting for babies, waiting for the next day I'm not on call, waiting for the weekend, waiting for the next vacation. Waiting for Ellie and Eunice to come, waiting to see the Ted, waiting to get Erik and Eunice here, waiting, waiting, waiting.
It is true that I am a patient person. But sometimes, there is just TOO MUCH WAITING.
Sometimes, I would like to throw myself down on the ground, like a 3 year old, and scream, "I want it NOW, NOW, NOW."
My grandmother, always one with a word of wisdom, said "Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can, you'll find it in a woman, but never in a man."
Patience, patience, patience.
Tonight, I am sick of being patient.

Cats

2006-05-09T16:36:00.000-07:00

I have a splitting headache tonight, right behind my left eye. I think I am brewing a migraine, which I have maybe once a year. I have no idea why. I have really had a fairly nice day--had a nice baby this a.m., big girl. Fairly calm afternoon at work.
I am cat-sitting for Dr. Z while she is in WDC. Her cats ( and don't get me wrong, I LOVE cats) are just a little neurotic. There's Clyde, the house cat--referred to as such since he has the run of the house, and Clara, the bathroom cat, since she lives exclusively in the upstairs bathroom. Clara used to live in the upstairs bedroom, but has taken to potty-ing on the bed, so now she lives in the bathroom... Clyde upchucked a hairball on the hardwood floor, which I had the wonderful opportunity to scrub up this afternoon, and Clara pooped on the bathroom rug, which I didn't see, and managed to step in. Gee, I love cat sitting. She is coming back on Friday. I still have that smell of Cat-poo on my shoes, so they are sitting in the garage. The dogs are giving them the once over.
I am really looking forward to having the famous and lovely Cinamon (Eunice and Erik's cat) come to live with us. I hope she learns to love everyone in the house. I really miss having a cat. NO MORE OUTDOOR cats however--Mom are you listening??? I think she got the point even more after I told her what happened to Jodi's cat--someone used him for target practice, and hit him with a load of buck shot, broke his leg in 3 places. Poor baby. Jodi was SO upset, of course, who wouldn't be.

Well, I am going to take some excedrin migraine and drink a coke. Maybe that will help.

More dining delights

2006-04-29T11:55:00.000-07:00

I worked 36 hours straight. Got up Thursday a.m., worked all day, all night and all day Friday. Came home. Exhausted. Dinner: Leftover Pizza from at least 2 months ago, frozen, re-heated until burnt and crispy, along with 2 hot dog buns, which had been buttered and sprinkled with garlic salt. Also burnt, black.
Just shoot me now.

Not to worry my dearest fabulous fiance/daughter-in-law

2006-04-25T18:55:00.000-07:00

I read your blog. I have answers to your questions. No, the grandma will not be upset if you do not let her wash your clothes. She will be relieved she doesn't have to do it. She will happily relinquish some of her kitchen duties, and shopping duties. She will love getting out and doing something fun, like a hobby or class. She is pretty housebound with only me here, since my job eats me alive.
Now, repeat after me,
Everything is going to be all right.
Everything IS going to be all right.
Everything is GOING to be all right.
Everything is going to be ALL RIGHT!!
Really, it is.
I can hardly wait for you to get here. We have more girly fun together!!!
LOVE YOU!!!

Continuing Menu Items

2006-04-21T15:54:00.000-07:00

Thank God I go out to lunch. I had a GREAT lunch with Jodi and Pam and Jim today. Because when I got home, this is what greeted me:

Knackwurst (I don't even know how to spell it, why would I eat it?) Some form of mystery meat, which, unfortunately got a little close to the fire, and was burnt on both sides. No amount of mustard made it edible.
Water-logged, overdone Brocolli, cheese sprinkles and vanilla pudding, made with sugar-free mix and skim milk.
OK, why does anyone even BUY vanilla pudding? If it isn't chocolate, why even bother? Then, mix it with skim milk, which I strongly suspect was outdated, as I KNOW for a fact I have not picked up a quart for at least 2 weeks.
I can't stand this any more.
And then, when I asked what the mystery meat was (NO, I didn't put it that way, I was polite), she burst into tears.
I am going to jump off a bridge. I can't stand this much longer.
Someone HELP!!!
Where are my car keys??? I'm going to McDonalds.

Tonight's Menu

2006-04-19T16:31:00.000-07:00

Salad. Very sad romaine lettuce.
Pork chop, hockey puck style. How can anyone consistently turn pork chops into hockey pucks?
Asparagus, approx. 1/3 in. chunks, muushy.
Someone kill me.
Oh, wait, that's what's happening now....

What sportscar are you?

2006-04-17T16:02:00.000-07:00

http://tomorrowland.us/sportscar/

Porche 911. Wow, who'd have thought????

Tonight's Menu

2006-04-13T16:24:00.000-07:00

Cherry tomatoes, 6, with 1 tsp. blue cheese dressing, for dipping.
1 petrified pork chop
Chopped asparagus, boiled beyond recognition.

That's all.

Yes, that's all.

I'm going to Culver's.

Ha HA HA

2006-04-12T15:57:00.000-07:00

Try this one--if George gets stuck, you can move him with the cursor.

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

One of the Squirrels is Missing

2006-04-08T18:22:00.000-07:00

I had a set of two cute little plastic squirrels (supposedly they look "realistic") who sit in the tulip bed at the base of my front yard flagpole. They came as a set. One crouches, looking cute, and the other sits on his hind legs, also looking cute.

The crouching squirrel is missing.

I can't imagine a burgler sneaking into my front yard by dark of night, and making off with one squirrel.

So, then, what happened to the crouching squirrel?

I have an idea--I think it's been kidnapped, no squirrel-napped. Carried off in the night, squirrel-napped by a band of wild squirrels and taken prisoner. I think if we conducted a search, we might find it tucked away in the hollow of a tree, wondering why the heck someone hasn't put out an Amber Alert for Squirrels on it's behalf. Or wondering how much ranson (in the form of walnuts) has been requested for it's return to the front yard tulip bed. It wonders why the sitting squirrel hasn't hired detectives to find it. Poor thing. I hope it's squirrel-nappers are kind to it.

I would like to make a public plea to the squirrel-nappers to return the crouching squirrel to the tuplip bed. I will NOT negotiate with terrorists. There are no walnuts here, I am a poor working midwife. Please, return the crouching squirrel to it's home.

Dining at Home

2006-04-05T16:15:00.000-07:00

I really love my mother. I hope to be half as nice as her when I grow up, if I am, I will be a truly nice person. But if I ever start to cook like her, I want my children to put me out of their misery. Thank God I go out to lunch every day and get one decent meal.
I have regaled my kids with some of the treats I have been tortured with. Black bean chili with no meat or tomato sauce. Chicken with sauerkraut. God help me.
Today, we had very wilted lettuce with shriveled up tomatoes, these poor, pitiful pork chops that had been virtually burnt to a crisp (I picked one up and whacked the plate with it, like a hockey puck) and these absolutely horrible broccoli bits, that had been boiled past recognition and topped with watery cheese.
Then it was followed up with baked apples. Too chewy to eat, sour and topped with reduced calorie whipped cream. MMMM.
Where are the take out menus? Is there any pizza delivery out there????
HHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!

There are very few things that infuriate me as much as

2006-03-25T10:44:00.001-08:00

a liar. I really, really, really hate liars. We have this viscious little witch at work, who is in serious need of firing, who is going from person to person planting seeds of disention and lies. I CANNOT tolerate people like this.
I was sitting at the nurse's station yesterday, when a friend from work called me and told me about this, and I must have responded to this a little more loudly than I thought, because I sort of exploded and said something like "that viscious litte viper" and the nurses all stopped what they were doing and LOOKED at me. They just aren't used to me showing any sort of anger or temper.

Well, it was honest feeling and I was mad.

I will personally choke that girl if I catch her doing that sort of thing. Don't piss off the Mammahead.

Ok, it's how I really feel....

2006-03-25T10:44:00.000-08:00

http://www.softlab.ece.ntua.gr/~sivann/pub/swf/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf

What Kind of Squirrel are YOU?

2006-03-05T08:11:00.000-08:00

Visit www.cheekysquirrel.net/squirrelname/

Success in Computer

2006-03-03T19:37:00.000-08:00

O Frabjous Day! I have successfully installed more memory in my computer!! And I didn't even have to call Ethan or Erik to get it done!!!
Of course, I have NO IDEA what I did, I just followed the diagram......
:)

Ahh, the Wonder of the Computer

2006-02-19T19:34:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally got frustrated with the slow performance of my computer. I ordered some more memory, but thinking I'd be a smarty pants and save a few bucks, I ordered it from a warehouse, not from Gateway. Hmmm, bad mistake.
It was delivered last week, and I finally screwed up my courage and removed the back of my computer box, with the telephone support of one of my computer-wise sons. It really was pretty easy to install, just plug and go. Alas, it seems to be the wrong one. Now, mind you I ordered the exact model number recommended by Gateway, but the service technician, whom I had to call, informs me that it is NOT the right one. So, now my great cheap memory is costing me twice as much as it should have in the first place.
Boy, do I feel stupid.

Students and Teachers

2006-01-31T21:06:00.000-08:00

I come from a long line of teachers. My grandmother taught school in a one-room schoolhouse on the Nebraska prairie. I have cousins who are teachers, friends who are teachers. Really, my life is full of all sorts of teachers. Even my daughter is a teacher. I have been a teacher, too.

When I first went into nursing, I was pleased to realize there was a lot of teaching in the profession of nursing. I have taught fellow nurses, patients and classes full of expectant parents. I have taught paramedics, community classes and grade school kids. When I finished my degree as a family nurse practitioner, I became part of the University of Kansas Graduate School staff, and spent 4 1/2 years teaching NP students and med students. I really, for the most part, enjoyed it.

So, as I sit here tonight, waiting for another baby, I feel sort of guilty. I have a midwifery student right now, and I didn't call her for this delivery. Well, the deal is, she doesn't know this patient, and I really don't want her here. She hasn't even met the girl, and the student wants to end her call shift at midnight. This patient is going to deliver, but it is going to be after midnight. And I just don't have the energy tonight. It is really hard to have midwifery students. It took me what felt like forever to adjust to Jayme last summer, but I finally did. And I really didn't want another integration student, but here she is. She isn't as good as Jayme was. At least Jayme could do a very good physical and pap when she started with us. This girl is such a klutz with a speculum, I had to actually raise my voice at her and tell her to put the speculum down and let me do it. I would never let her touch me, or anyone I cared about. She just doesn't have the touch. I am really a possessive person, too, I hate sharing my patients. It is really hard for me to let go of that. One part of me thinks it's really nervey of her to think she should waltz in, never having met the patient, and I should let her do the delivery...Another part of me thinks I am really rude to not give her the opportunity to learn.

Well, it's too late tonight to worry about it. I need a serious attitude adjustment, but it ain't happenin' now.

How Old Do You Have To Be to Be Mature?

2006-01-30T16:08:00.000-08:00

I was just wondering how old you have to be before you become mature? Consider: Adults who gossip, lie and decieve...just how mature is that behavior?
How is one supposed to react to that sort of behavior anyway? If you ignore it, you fall victim to the deceit, and suffer those consequences. If you take the information to those in charge, you are something of a tattle-tale. If you confront the offender, what then? What does it accomplish?
AAAAACK. I HATE drama. I really HATE it. It's enough to make me look for another job.
Speaking of which, I searched midwifejobs.com and found several things in western Mass. Hmmm, very interesting. I wonder what they'd offer if I sent a resume. Hmmm, maybe I'll see.

Welcome 2006

2006-01-01T15:02:00.000-08:00

Where did 2005 go anyway?

It really flew by, didn't it? Le me try and review a bit. What have I done? Worked....slept....worked...didn't sleep....
My new partner at work, Pam, started delivering babies in February, so I got a tiny bit more sleep.
My back went out, and I have periodically argued with it ever since. I imagine that will continue indefinitely.
I had a few short vacations. Took a trip to Kansas, had a nice visit.
Ellie and Eunice came to visit over the summer, that was really nice. I introduced them to jewelry making, uh-oh. That turned out to be expensive, at least for Erik and Eunice...but wow, does she do AMAZING work. I think she needs to think about design as a profession.
I treated Mom to a trip to Mass and VA to see the kids over Thanksgiving. She had a great time, came home and sprained her ankle in the Ohare Airport. Oh My God.
Kids all came for Christmas. Awesome.
And me...I worked, slept, worked......

And how did 2006 start? I worked....Baby #1 was born at 2:06 a.m., "Aiden Patrick" 5 lbs, 12 oz., cord around the neck x 1 (that was for you Pam), meconium (pooped before birth), crummy heart tones that necessitated an (OH MY GOD,NO) an epis. But, all in all, apgars of 8 & 9 (good scores for those of you who don't understand anything I just said). Not the "New Year Baby" in Rockford--missed it by an hour. But the NYB at OSF, and for Cornerstone.

What will 2006 bring? Good things for everyone, I hope. 2005 was pretty rough for a lot of folks--Tsunami, hurricaines. Let's not do that again.

Sleepless in Rockford

2005-12-12T20:23:00.000-08:00

Well, another baby is on the way. And it looks like I'll be up for the better part of the night. I wish the babies would be polite enough to come at a civilized hour. All of mine did. Every single one was born in the daylight. Hmpf.
I have delivered one girl already, and this one is going to be an all-nighter. Maybe I can sleep tomorrow. We shall see.
Someone did a study, to see if babies are born more at night than the day, and found they are evenly divided. Why does it feel like they are born more often in the night then? Just because they get your attention then?
I have no place to rest here. There's a DOCTOR in the Doctor's Lounge, which therefore precludes my presence in said lounge. After all, as the security folks are so happy to remind me, I am NOT a doctor. So, if I want to watch the monitor, I get to sit up at the Nurse's station all night. Or else I can go lie down in the NURSE'S lounge, because after all, I AM still a nurse.
Hmpf.

Tis the Season

2005-12-03T12:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, in conversation, I confessed to my friend Pam that Christmas is just not my favorite holiday. I think it started when I was young, and my father died 3 days before Christmas. That just put a sad color on the holiday from that point on...It was better when my own children were young, since really, Christmas is a holiday for children, in my humble opinion. When I became a mother, I stopped caring if I ever saw another present with my own name on it, and wished only for their happiness. I still feel that way, except for the one thing I do love at the holidays, and that is to see all my children (Eunice too) in the same room at the same time. I confess it is quite an experience to have them all home. You never stop laughing.
So, I will drag out the Christmas tree and decorations, brave the cold to put up lights on the outdoor bushes, set up the Christmas candles (no open flame, however) and decorate the house. Because the kids will be home for Christmas, and that is really all that I ever want.

Hitting a milestone

2005-11-06T08:15:00.000-08:00

In reviewing my work statistics this last week, I realized that we (my midwife partner, Pam and I) had hit a remarkable milestone--Baby # 700 since midwifery came to Rockford. WOW. 700 babies. That's a LOT.
We are at 229 for the year, a huge increase over last year, when I did 179 all by myself. It's so great to have Pam here. She's been here for a year this last week, and it has truly been wonderful. I love working with her every day, she still is finishing my sentences for me, and we practice so much alike it's great for the patients. We can pretty much depend on the fact that when one of us says something to a patient, the other will say the exact same thing at the next visit, too. It's hysterical when we compare notes. Poor patients, they don't get a break!
My personal total is about 620 since coming to Rockford, and add about 100 more into that for a lifetime total. Sometimes it boggles my mind to think that I have touched that many new lives. It's very humbling.

Amazing Events

2005-10-08T14:02:00.000-07:00

I spent the morning packing 17 boxes of clothing, blankets, diapers and supplies that have been shipped to shelters in Mississippi, Texas, and Louisiana. They were donated by patients, staff, friends and family members in response to my request for help for the vicitims of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. The call for donations was passed along (I'm not quite sure exactly how), and I ended up with cash which was used for shipping (I came out with a positive balance of $8.80, which is going to the Salvation Army.
The generosity of EVERYONE is just amazing. It's a privilige to know you all.
I hope the many wonderful donations are used by people who need and appreciate them, and I know they were given in a spirit of love and compassion. I think Americans are just the most amazingly generous people.

Update on the Perils of Parking

2005-09-29T15:59:00.000-07:00

Kindly note I have made 3 (three) phone calls to the security and administration of the hospital, and have not had a reply. One person is on vacation until mid-October, the other ignores my pleas for assistance. Oh well, I can't park anywhere anymore.
Wait, wait, what am I thinking? I deliver babies. I BRING business INTO the hospital. THEY owe ME!!

Alas, I am liberated. I will park where I damn well please, and the security department can go to hell.

I feel so much better now.

Perils of Parking

2005-09-24T16:58:00.000-07:00

I have had it. I have absolutely run OUT of patience. Now I really don't think anyone who knows me would ever say I am NOT a patient person. Not even my former husband, who, although he has many adjectives to describe me (most of which are not too nice) would ever say I was NOT patient.
I am a patient person. A very patient person.

But, I have finally had it.

Friday a.m., I arrived at the hospital to take care of 2 patients in labor. It was 7:20 a.m. I pulled into the parking space in the ER parking lot. This is where I have been parking for 3 1/2 years. It is where I was told by the security department that I had to park. (After all, I cannot park in the doctor's lot....I am NOT a doctor).

I got out of my car. I was greeted by a lady-rent-a-cop.

Good morning, I said.
Good morning. You can't park here.
Oh, yes, I really can. In fact, this is where I have been told to park by the security department.
No, you can't park here.
[sigh] Well, this is where I was told to park. Where is it you think I should park?
In the employee lot.
But I'm not an employee. I don't work for the hospital. I am a midwife. I work for a doctor's office--Cornerstone Clinic. I deliver babies, you know, just like doctors do. Only I'm a midwife.
[blank stare] [silence]
Well you can't park here.
[I smile.] THIS is where I was told to park.
You deliver babies?
Yes.
Then why don't you park in the Doctor's parking lot?
[OH MY GOD, could it be she actually understands this?] That is an excellent question. I SHOULD be allowed to park there, don't you think?
Well, yes.
If you could help me with this, I would really appreciate it. Can you ask your boss to give me access to the Doctor's lot?
Well, I'll check on it, and leave a note on your winshield.
Thank you very much. I'd really appreciate it.

Flash forward. It's 1030 p.m. I have delivered 2 babies. My knees ache, my back is killing me, I haven't eaten anything all day except graham crackers. My blood sugar is getting low, and my brain is feeling a little foggy. I am exhausted. Hmmm, there's something on my windshield. Could the rent-a-cop have actually come through?

I remove the paper from my windshield. It is a TICKET. It says YOU CANNOT PARK HERE.
Blue steam is starting to shoot out both ears. YOU CANNOT PARK HERE.
I unlock the door, and then I notice there's a bright yellow sticker on my side window. It says THIS CAR WILL BE TOWED.
Oh my Lord.
I have HAD it.

On Monday, I am going to kill someone OR I will be getting a sticker to the doctor's parking lot.
I have HAD it. My patience is GONE.

Wow...Americans are really awesome

2005-09-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

I know that the news tends to show alot of nasty stuff, and how mean people can be, but I must confess, that I have recently been reminded that Americans are probably the most generous, kind and compassionate people around.

I sent out an email to everyone on my list about the American College of Nurse Midwive's "Blankets for Babies" campaign, which was activated to help women and babies in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. I put up signs at work, and put out boxes for donations. In less than 2 weeks I have 20 boxes of blankets, baby clothes, diapers and toys along with $270 in cash donations which are wending their way to those in need in Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi.

If my small effort can generate this much generosity, wow.... It's way more than I expected.

I have always felt very proud to be an American, and I am just once more reminded exactly why.

Smutty comments

2005-09-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

I have deleted 2 comments that had links to porn sites. Gross. I am insulted.

A National Disgrace

2005-09-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

Along with every other American, I watch the coverage of the disaster in the south and I am absolutely appauled. I am shocked by the magnitude of the damage, I am more shocked by the complete lack of preparedness demonstrated by the agencies who should have been ready to help in this disaster. I cannot imagine telling thousands of people to take shelter in places that had no beds, water, food or medical supplies. I cannot imagine "forgetting" that there were thousands of souls stranded in huge flooded buildings.
I cannot imagine the suffering of those people.
There is no excuse for this. We pay the FEMA people to be prepared for this sort of thing. ALOT of money. I wonder what the salary of those idiots would buy for the people of New Orleans--probably alot more than a sandwich and a bottle of water.

Doing some good

2005-09-04T13:17:00.000-07:00

As a Midwife, I am a memeber of the national organization of midwives, called the American College of Nurse-Midwives. They have a perpetual charitable drive which, every year at the national convention, collects blankets for babies in need. They send them to various places and people, which is a wonderful thing.

Due to the horrible mess in the South as a result of Hurricane Katrina and the ensuing floods, they have activated that program to provide blankets and baby clothes to the women and babies in need who are in shelters; we are going to do what we can here in Rockford to gather these things and send on to the mothers and babies who are suffering.

At least this way I can feel like I am doing some good to help in this horrible situation. May God bless them all. They must feel that it's the end of the world.

Further Adventures in Plumbing

2005-09-03T18:21:00.000-07:00

Well, the brilliant plumber seems to have failed to fix the problem. We had leaking into the basement again on Friday. Mom called Smartie-plumber back. He returned and declared that no pipes were leaking. Hmmm, well then...where does water come from?? Electric lines, gas pipes, perhaps the phone or cable tv has sprung a leak....
Can anyone help me?????

Adventures in Plumbing

2005-08-30T11:21:00.000-07:00

We had a plumber at our house yesterday. Actually, a plumber and his helper. Now mind you, I have great respect for people who are expert tradesmen. But I have to tell you, these guys were idiots.

My shower is leaking. Leaking whenever you turn on the water, leaking down the inside of the wall, and puddling in the basement, right in front of the washing machine. You can clearly see where it is coming through the floor when you are in the basement. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out.

Clearly, plumbers are not rocket scientists, but I would think that when you clearly can see water leaking from a specific area, that it helps to diagnose the problem. That is if you turn on the water. The plumbers came on Friday, and couldn't see any leaking. Of course, they didn't turn on the water, either.

They came back Monday, and I left specific instructions about exactly WHAT to replace--the off/on mechanism in the shower, actually in BOTH showers. So they obdediently did as they were told. And hopefully, it is fixed. I didn't go in the basement to check this morning.

But, the real kicker is how much money plumbers make. Get this--$82/hour for the "real" plumber and $42/hour for his assistant. DEAR LORD. I am in the wrong business. Why on earth did I go to college. I will NEVER make $82/hour, if I live to be 100.

I have decided that my entire family needs to give up all educational goals, and become plumbers. We could retire early, RICH, and do whatever we want at age 40. (Or age 55, in my case).

OK everyone, get your low-rider pants on, and get out the wrenches. And I think I would remember to turn on the water to see if there's a leak.....

Everything is going to be all right

2005-08-22T16:24:00.000-07:00

OK, repeat after me.....

EVERYTHING is going to be all right.
Everything IS going to be all right.
Everything is GOING to be all right.
Everything is going TO BE all right.
Everything is going to be ALL right.
Everything is going to be all RIGHT.

Remember that. And remember that I love you.

Common Sense

2005-08-19T18:10:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention recently (well actually I have known this for quite some time) just how uncommon "common sense" seems to be. I used to think that it was called "common" sense, because lots of people had it, and it was therefore "COMMON". It's not. Common sense, infact, is quite uncommon.

I would guess that common sense is something that is present in far less than 10% of the general public.

If only I could tell you about my recent patient experiences. OH LORD. It has to do with a woman who left one of her many, many children in our office waiting room--rather, she forgot her. Until we called and said, oh pardon us, but did you FORGET something.....like a 6 year old????

It gets worse from there. If only I could share....
Sorry. It will have to wait....

Center of the Universe

2005-08-15T16:20:00.000-07:00

I like to tell the almost-parents in my prenatal classes that they are about to notice that the center of the universe is about to move. When you have a baby, the center of the universe moves off it's axis, slides over about 2 feet, and drops, clunk, into a new spot. They never understand what I mean, and I know that, but when they come back for their 6 week check up, I ask them again, if they understand NOW. Their eyes get wide and they knod knowingly. THEN they understand.
I had a delivery this morning with one of my patients, and her husband commented to me that the sound of the center of the universe dropping into the new spot was still reverberating in his ears. It made me smile. He still had no clue, bless his heart, but at least he's open to the thought.
I would not want the center of my universe to be anywhere except with my children. It's really great to have a job that helps to re-arrange the center of the universe for people. Wow. I never thought of it quite that way before.

On My Tombstone

2005-08-13T17:16:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting conversation the other day with my nurse. Her name happens to be Barbara (also) and she's awesome. At any rate, I was having a somewhat bad day. In my job, I get to see some of the worst things men do to women. Horrible STDs, battering, and it gets worse from there. One of my famous sayings is that "Men are pigs [that's self-explanitory] and women are stupid [for putting up with men that are pigs]." I was repeating that assessment and the fact that it will probably be engraved on my tombstone, and my nurse commented that that particular comment was probably not my favorite--she thinks it should be engraved with "Everything is going to be all right."
Well, that would be a bit nicer.
I still think that SOME men are pigs, and SOME women are stupid.

I'm Jealous

2005-08-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

I got a phone call from my dear, dear friend Marsha the other day.
She said, "Guess what!!"
Okay, what?
"I'm going to be a Grandma!!!"
Wow, that's great!!!, I said.
"Guess what!!!"
Okay, what?
"I'm going to be a Grandma!!!"
OH MY!! You mean TWICE????
"Yes!!"
Well, it turns out that BOTH her daughters are pregnant--one with her 3rd, one with her 1st. That is SO great.
Marsha's had a tough year this last year, just lots of things for her have been very hard, and she's been a bit depressed. But when I talked to her last week, she was as happy as I have ever heard her. And it was so thrilling to me to be among the first people that she shared the news with.

I don't have any grandchildren, just grandpuppies and kittens, who are wonderful, it is true. But I am really looking forward to that joy that Marsha shared with me the other day.

Ahhh, patience is a virtue. I will get my turn sometime, right kids?

Profound Thought

2005-08-05T17:18:00.000-07:00

One Very Well Written Sentence From the Sunday Portland Oregonian:

"Other than telling us how to live, think, marry, pray, vote, invest, educate our children and, now, die, I think the Republicans have done a fine job of getting government out of our personal lives."

Reading List

2005-08-03T16:26:00.000-07:00

I just have to say that I have just finished reading all ELEVEN books in the Stephanie Plum series of books by Janet Evanovich. What a hoot!
Assumptions:
Everyone in NJ carries a gun--grandmas, kids, bus drivers (they carry Uzis), that is everyone except Stephanie, who keeps hers in the cookie jar.
Everyone in NJ drives like a maniac (I know this personally to be true) and they seem to think nothing of blowing up cars on a regular basis.
Everyone gets arrested for something somtime.

Easy reading, and laugh out loud stuff.

Recovering

2005-07-23T18:28:00.000-07:00

I actually slept till 10:30 this morning. I can't remember the last time I did that. I think I must have really been tired. I think the babies may be giving us a break. One never really knows, though. They are sneaky, trying to pop out at the most rude of moments. :)
Well, no profound thoughts today, I guess.

Babies Falling From the Sky

2005-07-19T17:33:00.000-07:00

Between myself and my midwife partner, Pam, we have just delivered 20 babies in the last 8 days. Good grief. No wonder we're both tired beyond words.

More than the next best thing

2005-07-18T18:43:00.000-07:00

Being a Mom is the best job in the world. Absolutely, without question, THE BEST JOB.

That said, I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed to have the 3 best kids on the earth. I think the nicest thing I can say is that I would want to know each of them, even if they weren't my children. Well, I have both thought and felt that for a very long time. Then, to my surprise, it even gets better.

My oldest son brings home a lovely young woman, and wants to make her a part of the family. I think every mother fears this moment, but, I should have known better. She is so wonderful, that I couldn't have asked for a more perfect daughter, if I had borne her myself. My own daughter said it best, when she said it was like having the missing child put back into our family tree.

So, to the son who did such a great job picking a wife, and to the lovely girl who will become his wife, I love you both, and I am so glad to have her in our family.

It was a pleasure to have her visit this last week. I had both my daughters home at the same time...the one I gave birth to myself, and the one that my son picked as a gift for our family.

So many babies

2005-07-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

I have now delivered 13 babies since last Monday morning. I am thrilled to have a job I love, but my feet are killing me and I have at least 3 more to go before I can turn the pager over to my partner, Pam.
As long as there is sex, I will have job security.....

Time for action

2005-07-08T13:01:00.000-07:00

There's something that frustrates me as a nurse, a midwife, and just as a human being in general. I know that I was a good nurse, when I worked in that capacity. I still consider myself a good nurse, as a matter of fact. I think that's one of the things that makes me a good midwife, too. I know that job, and what I have a right to expect from someone in that position.

I recently had an experience that once again frustrated me, since I really expected more from the nurse than I got. The end result was that I had a patient who might have died, in the worst case scenario, and ended up with a transfusion and a number of other interventions that would not have been necessary if she had done her job right in the first place.

I don't think it's wrong to expect people to have a certain degree of competence. I expect it from myself, and therefore, I think I have a right (and actually an obligation) to expect it from others.

The question is, how do I translate that expectation into action?

Open Flame

2005-06-25T19:20:00.000-07:00

Most people who know me know that I have a "thing" about open flame--I really dislike them. This probably stems from the fact that not once, not twice, but three times have I nearly burnt the house down. The first time, there was the nuclear pot roast--mostly smoke damage, and somewhat traumatized children. Second, a closed fireplace flue that nearly ruined Christms, and the third time, a real nasty house fire, that cost the insurance company somewhere around $70,000 to replace 1/3 of my house.

Considering those things, it's not surprising that I avoid open flames.

Well, tonight, my lunatic neighbors lit a brush pile on fire in their back yard, which adjoins mine, sending flames 40 feet into the air and scaring the daylights out of me. I called 911, since first, burning is illeagal, and second I was horribly afraid the wind would set my shed and trees on fire by carrying flames from their yard into mine. Thank God the fire department came and so did the Sheriff's Department, hopefully to give them a citation and fine. Idiots.

DON'T PLAY WITH MATCHES.

The Mammahead has spoken.

THE Mantra

2005-06-23T23:55:00.000-07:00

It seems like I spend alot of my time chanting these days...I have a mantra that seems to be in high demand: "Everything is going to be all right."
You have to say it several times, emphasizing different words each time:
EVERYTHING is going to be all right.
Everything IS going to be all right
Everything is GOING TO BE all right
Everything is going to be ALL RIGT.
If you say it long enough, it starts to sound believable. My kids like it, my paitents like it, and truth be told...I like it.
A perpetual optomist, that's me....EVERYthing IS going to be ALL right.

Waiting for the babies

2005-03-02T17:42:00.000-08:00

I have 15 babies yet to deliver in March. Oh, the work of the midwife never ends....