Adventures in Plumbing

We had a plumber at our house yesterday. Actually, a plumber and his helper. Now mind you, I have great respect for people who are expert tradesmen. But I have to tell you, these guys were idiots.

My shower is leaking. Leaking whenever you turn on the water, leaking down the inside of the wall, and puddling in the basement, right in front of the washing machine. You can clearly see where it is coming through the floor when you are in the basement. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out.

Clearly, plumbers are not rocket scientists, but I would think that when you clearly can see water leaking from a specific area, that it helps to diagnose the problem. That is if you turn on the water. The plumbers came on Friday, and couldn't see any leaking. Of course, they didn't turn on the water, either.

They came back Monday, and I left specific instructions about exactly WHAT to replace--the off/on mechanism in the shower, actually in BOTH showers. So they obdediently did as they were told. And hopefully, it is fixed. I didn't go in the basement to check this morning.

But, the real kicker is how much money plumbers make. Get this--$82/hour for the "real" plumber and $42/hour for his assistant. DEAR LORD. I am in the wrong business. Why on earth did I go to college. I will NEVER make $82/hour, if I live to be 100.

I have decided that my entire family needs to give up all educational goals, and become plumbers. We could retire early, RICH, and do whatever we want at age 40. (Or age 55, in my case).

OK everyone, get your low-rider pants on, and get out the wrenches. And I think I would remember to turn on the water to see if there's a leak.....

Everything is going to be all right

OK, repeat after me.....

EVERYTHING is going to be all right.
Everything IS going to be all right.
Everything is GOING to be all right.
Everything is going TO BE all right.
Everything is going to be ALL right.
Everything is going to be all RIGHT.

Remember that. And remember that I love you.

Common Sense

It has come to my attention recently (well actually I have known this for quite some time) just how uncommon "common sense" seems to be. I used to think that it was called "common" sense, because lots of people had it, and it was therefore "COMMON". It's not. Common sense, infact, is quite uncommon.

I would guess that common sense is something that is present in far less than 10% of the general public.

If only I could tell you about my recent patient experiences. OH LORD. It has to do with a woman who left one of her many, many children in our office waiting room--rather, she forgot her. Until we called and said, oh pardon us, but did you FORGET something.....like a 6 year old????

It gets worse from there. If only I could share....
Sorry. It will have to wait....

Center of the Universe

I like to tell the almost-parents in my prenatal classes that they are about to notice that the center of the universe is about to move. When you have a baby, the center of the universe moves off it's axis, slides over about 2 feet, and drops, clunk, into a new spot. They never understand what I mean, and I know that, but when they come back for their 6 week check up, I ask them again, if they understand NOW. Their eyes get wide and they knod knowingly. THEN they understand.
I had a delivery this morning with one of my patients, and her husband commented to me that the sound of the center of the universe dropping into the new spot was still reverberating in his ears. It made me smile. He still had no clue, bless his heart, but at least he's open to the thought.
I would not want the center of my universe to be anywhere except with my children. It's really great to have a job that helps to re-arrange the center of the universe for people. Wow. I never thought of it quite that way before.

On My Tombstone

I had an interesting conversation the other day with my nurse. Her name happens to be Barbara (also) and she's awesome. At any rate, I was having a somewhat bad day. In my job, I get to see some of the worst things men do to women. Horrible STDs, battering, and it gets worse from there. One of my famous sayings is that "Men are pigs [that's self-explanitory] and women are stupid [for putting up with men that are pigs]." I was repeating that assessment and the fact that it will probably be engraved on my tombstone, and my nurse commented that that particular comment was probably not my favorite--she thinks it should be engraved with "Everything is going to be all right."
Well, that would be a bit nicer.
I still think that SOME men are pigs, and SOME women are stupid.

I'm Jealous

I got a phone call from my dear, dear friend Marsha the other day.
She said, "Guess what!!"
Okay, what?
"I'm going to be a Grandma!!!"
Wow, that's great!!!, I said.
"Guess what!!!"
Okay, what?
"I'm going to be a Grandma!!!"
OH MY!! You mean TWICE????
"Yes!!"
Well, it turns out that BOTH her daughters are pregnant--one with her 3rd, one with her 1st. That is SO great.
Marsha's had a tough year this last year, just lots of things for her have been very hard, and she's been a bit depressed. But when I talked to her last week, she was as happy as I have ever heard her. And it was so thrilling to me to be among the first people that she shared the news with.

I don't have any grandchildren, just grandpuppies and kittens, who are wonderful, it is true. But I am really looking forward to that joy that Marsha shared with me the other day.

Ahhh, patience is a virtue. I will get my turn sometime, right kids?

Profound Thought

One Very Well Written Sentence From the Sunday Portland Oregonian:

"Other than telling us how to live, think, marry, pray, vote, invest, educate our children and, now, die, I think the Republicans have done a fine job of getting government out of our personal lives."

Reading List

I just have to say that I have just finished reading all ELEVEN books in the Stephanie Plum series of books by Janet Evanovich. What a hoot!
Assumptions:
Everyone in NJ carries a gun--grandmas, kids, bus drivers (they carry Uzis), that is everyone except Stephanie, who keeps hers in the cookie jar.
Everyone in NJ drives like a maniac (I know this personally to be true) and they seem to think nothing of blowing up cars on a regular basis.
Everyone gets arrested for something somtime.

Easy reading, and laugh out loud stuff.