Students and Teachers

I come from a long line of teachers. My grandmother taught school in a one-room schoolhouse on the Nebraska prairie. I have cousins who are teachers, friends who are teachers. Really, my life is full of all sorts of teachers. Even my daughter is a teacher. I have been a teacher, too.

When I first went into nursing, I was pleased to realize there was a lot of teaching in the profession of nursing. I have taught fellow nurses, patients and classes full of expectant parents. I have taught paramedics, community classes and grade school kids. When I finished my degree as a family nurse practitioner, I became part of the University of Kansas Graduate School staff, and spent 4 1/2 years teaching NP students and med students. I really, for the most part, enjoyed it.

So, as I sit here tonight, waiting for another baby, I feel sort of guilty. I have a midwifery student right now, and I didn't call her for this delivery. Well, the deal is, she doesn't know this patient, and I really don't want her here. She hasn't even met the girl, and the student wants to end her call shift at midnight. This patient is going to deliver, but it is going to be after midnight. And I just don't have the energy tonight. It is really hard to have midwifery students. It took me what felt like forever to adjust to Jayme last summer, but I finally did. And I really didn't want another integration student, but here she is. She isn't as good as Jayme was. At least Jayme could do a very good physical and pap when she started with us. This girl is such a klutz with a speculum, I had to actually raise my voice at her and tell her to put the speculum down and let me do it. I would never let her touch me, or anyone I cared about. She just doesn't have the touch. I am really a possessive person, too, I hate sharing my patients. It is really hard for me to let go of that. One part of me thinks it's really nervey of her to think she should waltz in, never having met the patient, and I should let her do the delivery...Another part of me thinks I am really rude to not give her the opportunity to learn.

Well, it's too late tonight to worry about it. I need a serious attitude adjustment, but it ain't happenin' now.