Remembering Mom

The loss of my mother has been very hard for me. I was an only child, and my father died when I was nine, so it me and Mom against the world, always. She was a wonderful mother, who taught me that there is nothing out of reach if you are willing to work hard. She taught me the value of education. She taught me what unconditional love is really all about and was an example of kindness, patience and humor. There is a huge hole in my heart and life, and I miss her every day. She was SO proud of me, and SO proud of my children. They were the greatest joy of her life, as they continue to be the greatest joy of my life every day. She was never hesitant to tell us all how much she loved us.

This is a brief eulogy we read at her memorial serivce:

Mary Louise “Billie” Noble -- Nov. 29, 1919 to Nov. 29, 2007

Before we begin, we want to thank each of you for coming to join us this evening. Mom's passing was sudden, even though she was 88, she was in good health, and we feel very blessed that she was not ill, and did not suffer. She was loved and cherished by many people in her life, and our family will miss her.

Mary Louise Noble, known by her many friends and family as "Billie" was born in Farnam, Nebraska, on November 29, 1919 to Virgie Spangler Crossgrove and Merle Crossgrove. She was their second child; however, her older sibling, a boy, named Vernon, and had died at 4 days of age.

She grew up on the farm in the 1920's with no electricity, running water or indoor toilets. She suffered a severe injury to her knee at the age of 2, and her parents feared she would never walk without a crutch. Her doctor wanted to break her leg and re-set it, but her mother intervened and refused to let him do it, instead doing her own version of physical therapy and encouraging Billie to walk. With the help of a tiny chair, built by an uncle and a large gray tabby cat on whom she leaned, she learned to walk again and even to run.

Her sister was born when she was four, and they have had a close relationship throughout their lives. One very vivid memory she often told of was when she and her sister, Dorothy, were walking home from school and Billie threw a lunchbox at her, causing a cut on Dorothy's head, which bled and bled. Of course, Dorothy was upset and crying, and covered in blood. Billie said her mother was so frightened by the blood that she never even was punished for her misdeed. Of course, she never threw anything at anyone ever again!

She loved school and did very well. She had a love of reading from a very early age, and although was only allowed to finish the 8th grade of formal education, continued to read nearly everything she could throughout her life. She would often go to the library and come home with 5-6 books and have them all read in 2-3 days. And one of her favorite presents was a gift card for Border's, since she really enjoyed spending money on a good book. She love biography and history, and even collected cookbooks and bibles.

She grew up during the "Great Depression" and the dust bowl of the 1930's, and her parents struggled to get by. They grew a lot of their own food and Grandma Crossgrove sold eggs in town for extra cash. Billie left home at the age of 17, in 1937, and moved to Lincoln, Nebraska, where she got a job as a maid and governess for a wealthy family. She made $6.00/week, and sent $4/week home to the farm. She took care of the children, cooked and cleaned and had Sunday's off. At one point, she got appendicitis, and had to have surgery--that was the only time she cut back on the amount of money she sent back home, since she had to pay her hospital bill.

It was in Lincoln she met Vivion O. Noble, and fell in love. World War II was raging, but the US was not yet fully involved. Vivion moved to California to find work, and Billie followed, staying with her future sister- and brother-in-law, Genevieve and Jim Whitmer, until she and Viv were married on November 2, 1944. She worked for the telephone company and was chief operator when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor on December 7. She recalled how the switchboard "lit up like a Christmas tree" as many people tried to call friends and family in Hawaii, and told the operators the terrible news about the bombing.

She continued to work for the phone company, and Viv worked for the engineering firm, Bendix. Briefly in 1952 they returned to Nebraska, thinking they might farm, but it quickly became obvious they would not make a go of farming on 160 acres, and they returned to Los Angeles, Viv returning to his job at Bendix and Billie, being pregnant at the time, stayed home to raise their daughter, Barbara, born November 7, 1952. In 1956, she and Viv opened their home to a young Hungarian refugee, Sandor Osvath, who came to learn English and loved their home so much, he stayed for 4 years, and became their "adopted" son.

Motherhood was the greatest joy of her life, and she made a beautiful and loving home for her family. On December 22, 1961, her husband, Viv, died suddenly of a blood clot to the lung, leaving her alone to care for her young daughter. She opened an Antique Shop, but as she often said, she wasn't a very good at dickering, and it was not successful. Billie and Barbara moved to New York, to be closer to Billie's sister and her family, and then, after her Father became ill in Nebraska, they moved to Kearney, Nebraska to be closer to her aging parents. For the next several years, she and Barbara spent every weekend in Gothenburg, helping her parents with shopping, household chores and laundry. After Billie's father died, her mother moved to a retirement apartment in Kearney. Billie also helped care for her Aunt, Nora La Bounty, who lived in a nursing home in Kearney in her later years as well. In Kearney, Billie worked for the Nebraska Book Company, and managed their very successful college book store first in an off-campus location called the College Book Store and Market, and then on-campus as the Antelope Book Store. She retired from there in 1987 after 23 years of service.

Barbara married Randall Parker December 2, 1971, and they have 3 children, Erik, Elinor and Ethan. Billie often said her grandchildren were the "frosting on the cake", and she was devoted to them. After her retirement, Billie moved to Lawrence, KS to be closer to her family and grandchildren. She soon moved into the Parker household and has been there ever since, managing the household and caring for her family. She was tremendously proud of her family, and supported and encouraged them to follow their dreams throughout their lives. Since her own education had been cut short, and she often felt handicapped by her lack of education, she strongly believed encouraged and supported her family's educational goals, and was tremendously proud that they all graduated from college(except for Ethan, who is still going to college!).

She loved animals, and was never without a dog or cat and usually more than one of each. She especially loved Siamese cats and dachshund dogs, and owned a number of each throughout her life. She was quite a collector, and had collections of many types--she collected coins, violets, doxie dogs, Siamese cats, Tea Leaf Ironstone China, cookbooks, Santas, and bibles. She loved to cook and made the best apple pie on earth. We joke that in her later years she took up furniture breeding, because it seemed like every time we turned around, she had another piece of furniture in the house to stick in a corner somewhere. But she did love and collect antiques.

She was an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and regularly attended meetings until recently, when it was too difficult for her to sit for long periods of time.

Billie will always be remembered by those who love her for her warmth and kindness, her strength of character and devotion to her family. We will miss her every day.

In Memory

Please go to  http://spinster2000.blogspot.com/ to see a wonderful video that my daughter put together for Mom. I have remarkable children, and so very much is thanks to my wonderful Mom.

How I Spent My Vacation

I went to Mass. to visit my wonderful daughter, and help her with the costumes for the upcoming show she was working on. It's set in the 1790's French Revolution, so all the costumes were period pieces. Most had to be constructed from scratch. I know she purchased at least 260 yards of fabric, plus more trim, buttons, snaps and hooks than I can count. I spent about 50-60 hours during that week helping sew. Ellie clocked about 340 hours herself. This is the list of what was made for this show:

7 waistcoats
2 men's shirts
9 men's dress coats with trim
10 deputy robes
10 pairs of breeches
6 aristocratic women's dresses with trim
5 peasant dresses
3 red peasant coats
4 pairs of boot covers
4 citizen sashes
1 General Dillon sash
1 shawl
2 head scarves
4 women's chokers
8 cravats that were a pain in the butt
1 feathered barrette
2 flowered barrettes
1 stupid walking stick with an ugly knob
109 buttons
109 button holes
1 frog
4 gold clasps
206 eyelets and God only knows how many yards of ribbon and lacing
15 hooks & eyes
30 pairs of snaps

And a partridge in a pear tree.

It was really fun, and I loved doing it, and spending time with that Costume Wrangler. She's the best daughter ever. And I got a free dinner out of it. Yummmmy.

If they do a period piece next year, I'll go help again.

Seamstress is alive and well, living in Kansas.

The Mom Song Sung to William Tell Overture

This is entirely too funny and too true.

When I die, I want to come back as an otter

In the better days of my marriage, really the first 25 years....My husband always said he wanted to be reinacarnated as an otter, since they always look like they have so much fun--and they have a great life--eat, sleep, play, have sex, and then repeat. At least that's what they seem to do...These adorable creatures make me think he had a great point. (See the Video)

The other thing he wanted to be reincarnated as was a water buffalo. No one ever bothers or argues with a water buffalo. Somehow those two things don't exactly equate, but he did have different moods.

I like to remember the part of him that wanted to be an otter. I always pictured my golden years as one of those two otters. I really miss the otter. Not so much do I miss the water buffalo.

Santa at the Gas and Go

I saw Santa today, at the Phillips 66 Gas and Go down on the corner of Santa Fe St. and Laurel Drive. He was working the counter, selling gas and diesel, candy, cigarettes and pop to the patrons of the filling station. It must be the price of reindeer chow that has forced him into an off-season career as a convenience store clerk. Well, it can't be the price of gas, after all. He doesn't use any of that...at least I never thought he did.

I pulled in to fill up my car tonight, it was running on fumes, again, and there he was. Chubby, pink-cheeked, gold wire-rimmed specs and a warm smile, Santa Claus. At the Gas and Go. I usually pay at the pump, but when I saw him inside the station, I selected the "Pay Inside" button, just so I could check it out in person.

I put $40 of regular in Dora (I named the car Dora, like "Dora, the Explorer"), and went in to pay. I gave my Phillips 66 card to Santa. "Anything else?", he inquired. "No, thanks", I said. I was trying NOT to stare. He was wearing a shirt with the Gas and Go logo on it, but no embroidered name. Well, it was pretty obvious who he was, so I guess he didn't really need his name stitched on there for all to see.

I was pushing my way out the door, and he said, "Merry Christmas, come again." Oh my.

I saw Santa at the Gas and Go.

Been there, done that.....

This is too funny for words:

LOT OF POKEMON CARDS THAT MY KIDS TRIED TO SNEAK BY ME - (eBay item 130144061675 end time Aug-22-07 12:03:50 PDT)

I could tell several stories very similar, and I only had THREE kids.

Has It Really Been That Long?

I am astonished that my last entry was June 10. Good grief.

Well, we are moved, it was awful. My loan was processed, no thanks to the inept people at Countrywide. I have NEVER had trouble with them before, but they were unreal this time. Asking for all kinds of irrelevant crap up to 24 hours prior to closing. I thought I would have a heart attack--here I was in a motel with 2 dogs, a cat, a grandma, son and daughter-in-law and they were threatening me with no closing on the house. I was about 1/2 inch away from a full blown panic attack. But, it all was fine, I was reminded by those around me that EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT, and it was.

Moving was hell. It always is. Poor Ellie, she didn't even live here and still she did the huge majority of the packing. Bless her, a thousand times, bless her. And Erik and Eunice and the showing of the house in Rockford, what an ordeal. Bless them, a thousand times, also. And Ethan, giving me a place to live for 2 months. And putting up with Harley. Oh my. I have NO idea what I would have done without all of those kids. They are each and every one completely awesome. I am the luckiest Mom ever.

The house is great. I love the 2 floors and the 3 baths. I love the fence which is now done, and the laundry on the first floor.

I am so enjoying my job. I love the time there and the time off is even better. It's MINE, no call, no pagers, no obligations. It's wonderful. I had no idea I was so burned out.

I have hired the lawn people and a cleaning lady. I think life is just about set at the moment. We'll see how it goes. Soon, I will be done unpacking boxes for a while too. And then I can see if I can enjoy a hobby or two. Wow. I might get to sew something. Imagine that..... :)

Here's a photo of my new house! Effective June 20, anyway. Our new address will be 1020 East Pumpkin Ridge St., Gardner, KS 66030.

On the Move, Finally

Well, much has transpired since my last post. The house in Illinois sold...Praise be to whomever! And I found a great house here in KS. I will try and post a picture. It's 99% perfect--3 bedrooms, with a laundry on the main floor. It is in need of fencing around part of the back yard, but that's really all...and some paint. The kitchen is something awful. The colors are ketchup and mustard. Who thinks that's appealing? Oh my....
I close on the house in IL on next Thursday, bring Mom and the dogs to KS, and wait for the closing on the new house here on the 20th. That should be an interesting few days....a hotel, dogs, Mom, me, Ellie, Erik & Eunce....This too shall pass.....
Harley has taken complete possession of me. He thinks I am a cat toy, down to the place where he launched himself off my arm leaving scratches and bruises. I went out and bought him ostrich feather toys, and he really likes them. Maybe he won't feel the need to claw me up again.
My children are remarkable people. Each and every one of them.
Erik and Eunice have been coordinating the move, running Mom all over the place, and managing the showing of the house--No small task, having shown it at least 50 times over a 6 week period. Ellie is giving up her vacation time to help pack and move and tend to the Grandma. Ethan has graciously allowed me to move into his apartment, take over his bedroom, while he sleeps on the futon on the living room floor for 2 whole months. I quite simply do not know how I would have managed this without each and every one of them. They are the most wonderful people I know. And I love them to bits.
I got great news from my friend Pam today--her son and daughter-in-law are adopting again, this time a little boy. She is so thrilled and I am so thrilled for her and her husband Jim. It's the best news for her in the last year!
More later when the family is together again......

Diego's Retort

Hmphhhh. Diego (NOT Dee-Eggo) here. The nice lady has let me use the computer. She read me the stupid stuff that beasty-cat wrote. He thinks he's in charge around here, HA, not likely. I am the TOP DOG.

That nice lady came to visit and she sits with me one the couch and cuddles. I really like here, she scratches my ears and takes me for little walks. She gives me treats. The only thing is that about the same time she arrived, that beasty-cat arrived too. I HATE him. He marches around like he owns the place, jumping the the shelves and furniture, knocking things down. The other day, I was cuddling with the nice lady on the sofa and he must have been jealous, because he got on the shelf behind us and knocked a big Hulk figure down on the nice lady's head, clunk. She sqeaked! I think it must have hurt, because she seemed very mad at the beasty-cat.

I have plans to corner him and bite his head off. If only he didn't have sharp fingers. I will have to consider this. He can be fun to play with, I chase him up and down the hall. And then he makes Meowing noises at me. HA.

I will always be TOP DOG.

The Adventures of Harley in the Land of Oz

Hello, Harley the wonder cat here....I am filling in for the human writer as she has a cold and cannot come to the computer.

I was recently stuffed into a small box and forced on a long trip to a new house. I tried to escape once on the trip, but was foiled by the desire I had to eat kitty treats. Rats. Stuffed in that carrier again. When I arrived after a long day at the new house, I was greeted by this icky litte black dog-like rat creature the humans seem to call Dee-Eggo. He's a pain, but I have successfully subdued him. I steal his toys at will, and glare at him from high places. He lives in fear of my claws. Smelly rat-dog. My life is plagued by the rat dogs, big and small. But I will triumph in the end.

I have spent these last few weeks persecuting Dee-Eggo. It has be fun. I have a new room, and get to sleep with the Mammahead. There's no large rat-dog to growl and throw me off the bed. It's nice. I wake her almost every morning at 4 am to play with me. She bought me a fishing pole toy with a bell and pom-pom on the end of an elastic cord, and I give it to her every morning and she throws it off the bed so I can chase it. It's quite fun. She seems to have some objection to the hour, but too bad for her.

I found a wonderful trick to torment the human Mammahead. The other night, I stole her glasses. She always put them down on the floor by the bed, and so I stole them. She couldn't find them when she got up. It was SO funny. She and the big boy human looked and looked and still couldn't find where I hid them. I laughed all day. The next morning at 4 am, I gave them back to her. I had wrapped them in my fishing pole toy and dropped them on her at 4 am. She was so surprised. HA HA HA

Then, the next day, I stole that silver ticking thing she wears on her wrist all the time. I still haven't given it back to her. Every so often, she yells at me and says "Give me back my watch!" I have no idea what she means.

I will keep you all posted about my further adventures. I have to get access to the computer while the humans are out of the house....

The Latest News

Well, I have officially landed in the land of Oz. I had my first day at work today, and I felt right at home in family practice. I was really observing another NP, but I/we saw sinusitis, allergic rhinitis, ear aches, shingles, back pain, URIs, UTIs and yeast. Even a girl who didn't show up for depo, thought she might be pregnant, and thank the Lord was not, since the 4 (count them FOUR) kids she had with her were terrors. HA!

The house is showing well, altogether 28 groups through yesterday. Darcy things an offer is upcoming soon. We shall see....

I miss everyone in Rockford, Mom, Erik, Eunice, Pam, Deb, my puppy dog. I brought Harley cat with me, and he's doing fine. He and Diego are sizing one another up even as I write this.

I have alot of thoughts about my time in Rockford, but I won't go into them right now. It's good to feel like I am home again, however.

Sorting

I have a new rule. Anything may be brought into the house as long as it will be used or eaten before we move.

I spent this weekend sorting, and pitching. Things are divided into 3 categories--keep, dump or donate. And I am being ruthless. I am not moving a bunch of crap. No, it's not going along. This is a great opportunity to clear out the unnecessary junk cluttering my life.

I think I could audition for Clean Sweep. I'd be great. Not as nice as that Austrialian/English guy, but just as efficient!

:)

THIS is what I have to work with.....

http://fructusventris.stblogs.org/

A New Adventure

Well, after many sleepless nights, much thought and some prayer, it looks like I'm ready for a new adventure.

I am giving up the world of mothers and babies, and will be moving back into family practice. And leaving the frozen north and returning to the great plains.

As of April 13, I will be finished at Cornerstone and on April 16, I will begin working for Take Care Health, in Kansas City, KS. I will work 36-40 hours/week, one weekend day/month, no call, no nights, no surgery. I will have real insurance, real benefits.

There are alot of things I will miss. I will miss my special patients, I will miss my dear, dear friend and partner, Pam. I will miss Deb. I will miss Jodi. I will miss lots of people at the office. Some more than others. I will miss many of the nurses at OSF, a few at RMH, no one at Swedes.

There's alot of work to do between now and then. I should get busy.

Enough Already

Another post on Natural Family Planning from the Mole. Argh. I've had enough.

A Wise Woman once asked me, "What do you call people who practice natural family planning?" I looked perplexed.
"Parents", she said.

Hmmm. Sounds about right to me.

OK, OK, high blood pressure meds are on the way

I have broken the law.

No, I have been speeding, well, not much anyway, and not intentionally.

I have illicitly ordered medications from Canada. Shhhh. Can't tell the Feds. I can get 100 tablets for $79, and in the US it costs me $123 for 30. Hmmmm, something seems amiss here. Why are the SAME meds so much less across the border? I really don't begin to understand.

I ordered them yesterday, and I hope to have them in the cupboard within a week or so. Then, I will take them for a while, and THEN I will let Pam take my blood pressure. Only then.

I love all of you who worry about me. Thanks.

In My Thoughts

I have had a lot on my mind lately. Serious stuff.

I have been thinking about my life and career. I really love being a midwife, being a part of new families, bringing joy into the world. But it is taking a toll on me on a personal level.

I am having trouble controlling my blood sugars. I went back on Atkins just after the 1st of the year. I have lost about 10 lbs, but, even on meds, my fasting blood sugars are still 160, and they should be 90 or less. During the day and my after meal numbers aren't so bad, but that fasting number really sucks. I haven't been able to afford my high blood pressure meds, so I haven't even taken it in months. I just don't want to know what it is. I know that has to stop, I'm going to have a stroke! My knees are killing me all the time, and I desperately need two knee replacements, but with our health insurance at work, the approximate cost would be about $5K apiece, which is ridiculous. To say nothing of the fact that I doubt I would be able to get any time off to do it. Standing for a C/Section about kills me. I did a very difficult one with KZ in December, we worked for an hour and 40 min, and by the time we finished, I couldn't feel my left leg from the hip to the floor. That would be a back issue, what with the 5 herniated discs that I have. My job is physically demanding, and although I love it, I don't think I will be able to do this for another 13 years till retirement.

Ahh, which brings me to retirement, and the fact that I have NONE. According to Social Security, if I work till I'm 66, I'll get just under $2K/month. Hmmm, by then, will I be able to survive on that?? Doubtful.

Then there's the fact that I have not have a raise in 4 years. They were generous the 1st year I was here, and then it stopped. Not that I don't make good money, I do. But some sort of recognition would really be nice.

And then there's the Mole. I positively hate working with the Mole. If this is what my boss wants, perhaps I don't belong here any more.

I really have to think about what to do here. My life may depend on it.

I like Rockford. It's better now that E & E are here, much easier for me. They do so much to make my life better, and I love them for it. I like my house, it's very comfortable, the yard is lovely, the dogs like it. But I just don't know.

This has been bugging me for nearly 6 months now. I have to make some sort of a decision soon. No decision is, in it's own way, a decision to continue in the current path.

I am so lucky to have a supportive family. They all say, do what you need to do to take care of yourself. They are truly the best.

I think of my wonderful friend and partner Pam. What would this mean to her if I changed jobs? Would she follow suit and leave too? I know she would give most anything to be closer to her kids in Omaha, and who on earth could blame her for that?What would it mean to midwifery in Rockford? Would it mean the end of midwives in Rockford. I would hate for that to happen. What would it do to Jodi? What would it mean to her practice? I feel obliged to consider these things.

See what I mean, I have a lot on my mind.

Holiday Greetings

This is just too good to pass up.

Click here: http://www.thecompassgroup.biz/merryxmas.swf